A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi All. i just need some help. i am 19, and for the last 3 years i have been in a relationship with a WONDERFUL man who i love to pieces. lately i feel like i want to go out and meet new people and just have fun and be 'single' i have been in this relationship since i was 16 and now that i am legal to go out and party, i just want to go out and have fun. he is older and he doesn't. i like pubbing and clubbing, he just wants to go out and have meals just the two of us then go home and 'snuggle up' on the couch. and god - i just want to scream at him to lighten up and come and join in on the fun!!! i feel like i need to have time away, i know i still love him, and he is so good, but i just feel like i want to go out, meet new guys, feel what it's like to be with someone else. i wouldn't disrespect him by cheating on him! i can't say 'would u mind if i just have a break for a while and then we can get back together' and then what if he met someone else??? i feel stuck. sorry for going on but i just need to get it out and i feel bad as am starting to get crabbit with him because of how i feel.. noticing all the things that annoy me!!! i go on holiday next sun and am hoping the break away will help. ahhhh helppp!!!!
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female
reader, lexilou +, writes (5 August 2008):
 I was with my first hubbie from 15 to 32 and I didnt really get the chance to live my life. Maybe a break would be a good idea you may find you never go back to him but if you feel this way already then dont waste your time with him as you will still have these feeling and regrets 5 years down the line. Do both of you a favour and live a bit while you can x
A
female
reader, sappygirl  +, writes (5 August 2008):
 there is nothing wrong with wanting to go out and having fun. Esp at your age. That is what you're suppose to do. That way you can figure out what you want.
You're just afraid you can't find a better guy and if you can't you lost him forever.
That can be selfish don't you think? You can't have your cake and eat it too.
So you must just decide..break it and see what's out there or be with him. If he's the right guy for you, then your love will bring you guys back together. That's what I think.
personally..I think if you have the urge to date other guys. Than you should..because you don't want to be with him forever and ever wonder what you could be missing.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2008): I was in the exact same situation when my boyfriend found my journal and read my entries about feeling the same way. I was furious and also relieved cause he finally knew how I felt. He wanted to save the relationship and move with me to college and get married, I was 18 and freaked out. Over a very long month, we eventually broke up (ie. he finally listened to me after many many times of telling him I "needed a break" which actually was me breaking up with him in many different ways). I went off to college and had a blast and over time I found out he got married and had a kid. I don't regret it at all cause I think if we were to be together now, life would have allowed it. Since then I've begun to understand that sometimes the greatest relationships can just happen at the wrong time, so it's time to move on. Don't lose yourself or give up the best times to be single, just cause you've been with someone for so long. Eventually, you will resent him for taking that away from you when you are too old to go out, or too busy to party. If it's meant to happen again in the future, it will. Otherwise, you'll both move on and be just fine!
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A
female
reader, vsnod +, writes (4 August 2008):
 I was in a similar situation as you when I was around 21. I had been with a guy for 4 years, and even though he was not my first boyfriend, he was my first love and the first guy I ever slept with. He was about 2 years older, so not much older. I was feeling like I just wanted to experience being single, I had had a boyfriend pretty much from age 15 and on. Anyway, I asked to go on a break and he was completely heartbroken over it. He called me all the time, etc. After only 2 weeks of this 'break' we got back together, I just kind of gave in to him asking to get back together again. But eventually we broke up for good about 4 months after that. I know looking back that I did the right thing, but every situation is different. I realized that even though I did love him, we were not a good match and I got to know myself better than I did while I was with him. I think you are young and there is nothing wrong with wanting to see what else is out there and be independent for awhile. You learn so much about yourself when you are on your own but you can't expect him to wait for you. That wouldn't be fair, so if you do this, that is the risk you will have to take.
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