A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:OK... here goes nothing...When I was little, my mother began dating a man who was about 12 years older than her. Her being 30, and him in his 40's, the difference in age wasn't that bad. I was three when they really got together and he's slowly become a father to me. The problem... is his son. Now, in the begining it was almost like hero-worship stuff. I thought that this boy, then roughly 13 to my 3-4, was the 'coolest' person in the world. Well, I'm 18 now and he's 27. But what once was a little case of puppy love has turned into serious heartfelt LOVE. To make matters worse, he ended up being my step-brother for 8 years when my mother married his father. They've divorced now and my mom's remarried... but I still can't figure out what I should do. I feel guilty for loving him since, to him, I'm his special little sister. He dotes on me and is really protective... sometimes almost flirty with his body language. Am I reading too much into his side of it all? I don't see him often anymore, but when we get together for random things like movies... I can't help it. It all comes rushing back and all I want to do is hold him and say screw it. Should I tell him? Would it ruin everything? I need some serious advice. It's tearing me up.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2008):
Here's an idea about how to get rolling on this. This might help to bring it up casually enough to test the waters a little, without jumping in headlong right off:
You could get a good setup to discuss it, like getting cuddly with him watching a movie or something.
Get talking about how much you thought of him as a kid. How you were so in awe of him, etc.
Then eventually steer the conversation to how you & he have both grown up to be so similar to your two parents. Like make some giggling remark about a positive thing about him that reminds you of his father. Then compare it to how much you have in common with your mother too.
Then steer the conversation to remarking about how in-love your parents used to be. Then get to how it made perfect sense that they were totally attracted to each other because of who they were.
Do all this steering very gradually and don't make it obvious. And don't make it seem very serious either, you might still be able to pass the whole thing off as a funny moment if he totally feels differently than you do.
By now he should either know what you're doing, or at the very least he would be thinking about the same thing. You'll probably get enough of a reaction to get an idea about where his feelings are on this.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): He is in no way related to you anymore.You are of legal age and have all the required things to seduce and please both yourself and a man.So ask him out... the worst he can do is say no and even then, its not like you need to see him much anymore.The point is you never know until you bite the bullet and ask and hey if it works out it could be the beginning of a hell of a good relationship. Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (5 August 2008):
 Well to him you may always be his little sister and he may not be able to think of you that way at all, it may really screw him up. On the otherhand you will never know unless you talk to him but I really dont know how you could do it with out destroying the relationship you have if he doesnt feel the same way. You could try joking with him but in the end you may just get hurt x
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A
female
reader, Princess_Glamm +, writes (5 August 2008):
 Hey.! I Just Read Your Question So i thought i would try and help.! =D
Soo...he was your step brother for 8 years,! Say something like what would you do if you liked someone but you werent sure wether or not to tell them because you think that it will ruin everything and see what he says. and I Am sure He Would understand if you told him.!
You cant turn love off like a switch babes. if you really love him then go fot it,.!!
The same sort of thing has happened to me except he wasnt my family but i asked him what he would do if he was in my position and he said that you cant help feeling what you feel then its best too tell them, so i told him straight out how i felt a couple of months ago.! now we have been togther for nearly three months,! Remember.!! NOTHING is impossible.!
Hope i helped you.!
Princess_Glamm
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