A
male
age
30-35,
*londyking
writes:Oh how love can just blow up in your face...I've been in a relationship for over 7 months, and it's been on the decline for 1 and a half... after a moment of anger I said I didn't think it was a good idea to still be in a relationship, seeing as I wasn't happy, she wasn't taking care of herself health wise (seemingly won't due to "lack of motivation" which I find disturbing) and made me feel taken for granted because I found myself needing to pick up the slack, I literally couldn't tell her how my life was doing because anything bad going on she'd make her own issue, even if I showed her it wasn't upsetting me, I then explain the issue to her but over and over she just acts like it's my failing. After my initial call, I felt that I didn't give it enough of a chance, and called her later that day to try and see if we could commit to a temporary break to focus on ourselves, for self-health and what not, she agrees, now I feel like it was a mistake.Ever since, we've fallen into patterns of getting on a similar page, to then her doing something that infuriates me, and makes me wonder why I'm still trying... last week she accused me of starting something with someone else for simply hanging out with them, then a few days later, saying I wanted to break up because I thought she was "too fat" (a word that I wholeheartedly dismiss the second she even brings it up) because I tell her to try and be healthier for the long run. I'm honestly sick and tired of feeling like I made a huge mistake trying to be the good guy, but I don't want to be demonized, the more I think about it, the more I realize it's inevitable... but I guess I'm writing to see if I'm justified in wanting what I want... to just move on, not feel like I'm stuck. Am I?
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female
reader, Mariab  +, writes (15 November 2011):
 I can understand that from a woman's perspective... when a man calls for a break it raises RED FLAGS that he is seeing someone else or that she is not good enough. So this can explain the negativity she is surrounding herself with.
However, as this is YOUR life and you need to make the most of it. If you make your mind up that you want to move on THEN DO IT. You have to make a clean break as this half-way stuff will just prolong the confusion and self-analysis on her part. You are not happy and perhaps she is not the one for you (I don't know), but you have to make a decision on how things are at present... all I am saying is STICK to the decision you make... Good luck hunny xx
A
female
reader, supermum +, writes (15 November 2011):
 Simple answer: Are you happy? If the answer is no, you know what is best for you.
I get that you love her, but at this point in your life, you need to be focusing on your self rather than huge adult problems... plenty of them will come later on! This is the time for being wild, enjoying yourself, discovering who you are and who you want to be, finding direction in your life and moving on up in the world. If she cannot support you in that, and bring you up to where you want to be, then perhaps she is not the best one for you at the moment.
I wish you luck!
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