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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi. I'm in a 3 month relationship with my boyfriend. I'm a virgin, and he's not. We've talked about his past and he's had a few sexual encounters. It made me feel really uneasy after learning this, but i've come to understand and respect his past decisions and have moved past this. He's absolutely wonderful in not pressuring me to do anything i'm uncomfortable with and we can communicate about sex. We've been getting closer lately and I'm nervous that I will lose my virginity to him. I'm nervous because I always imagined I would lose my virginity to a virgin like me, and that I would be in a serious long term relationship or getting married. But sometimes I feel like i should just lose it to him because it feels right at times. I'm confused as to what beliefs i should stick to..wait until i'm older (i'm 21) and getting married or do what feels right at the time? I just don't want to regret anything and feel guilty for doing something that i've waited so long to do. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, maxsteel86  +, writes (12 June 2006):
 Lol! Reminds me of my own relationship! My girlfriend's 21 too, I'm 20, we're both virgins and gonna wait for another year or so. We've been together 1 and a half years. It does get tough to hold back from sex.
I'm sure if your guy loves you, he'll wait until you feel ready. Since he's not a virgin, he might have a harder time than you but it definitely can be done.
You've been together for three months so I guess you would be unsure about things like whether you know him enough. It seems that your virginity is a pretty important thing for you so I would advise against rushing into anything. When you feel absolutely sure you wont regret the decision, you'll be able to decide the best choice for yourself.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, Aunt Jess +, writes (7 June 2006):
 what your feeling is entirely normal..losing your virginity is something that should be taken seriously, but as for beliefs, ignore them and do what u feel is right. whatever u do do not think u are gettin too old to be a virgin...many people in their 30s have not had sex so dont feel this is a pressure on u.
the fact that your boyf is not a virgin shouldnt matter to u unless youre scared he might have any STI's or have been one night stands. if so, these issues need to be discussed thoroughly, but youve sed that u talk a lot which is good.
i believe that if you feel completly confortable with someone, and 99% sure you wont regret it and trust your boyf, nothing should be stopping u.of course u will feel nervous at first. you say youve been together 3 months; this isnt a long time at all so if u are scared about your future with him, wait, and see if u still feel the same way in a few months time.
good luck with wateva u do.
email me if u want any more advice xXx
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