A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating a nice guy for about 7 weeks. Was very romantic, kind and seemed to be very in to me. I went on another date with him again at the weekend - the date went well and I invited him back to mine. We ended up sleeping together. He is the second guy I have slept with since my long term boyfriend before him so this was a big step for me. Anyway now he is completely ignoring me! He was really nice when he was leaving my place etc and said "I'll text you later" - well that was 4 days ago now! I have been used haven't I? I am just feeling crap about this and totally lost my faith in guys - this guy was so genuine with me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): Ok, first off there are no rules as to the right way to do things or timing or anything as to when you should sleep with a guy, but the experts will tell you to wait 90 days to 6 months to actually have sex.
The reason for this is two fold. First if you want to know what a man's true intentions are, then withhold sex for as long as possible to see if he is really interested in getting to know you, or just is in it for the sex....he will lose interest quickly if it is the latter.
Secondly, men want you to wait if they are looking for girlfriend material, they don't want you too be too easy or too cheap, they want to trust that you are really into them and not just into having sex as well....they don't want you to know this, but that is what a guy looking for a relationship will tell you, wait for sex.
Now that said a guy is pretty crappy if he judges you for sleeping with him after 7 weeks, after all it took two of you. Another thing though is that men often feel vulnerable after sleeping with a woman the first time, especially when it happens quickly and he needs time to get his head together and needs his space from you....so don't panic and don't act mad if he does call you two weeks from now. Act your normal friendly self, don't ask him where he's been or why it took so long for him to call, just be yourself.
Another thing is men also like to test a woman by not calling her sometimes....he wants to see how clingy you are and if you are going to start acting like his girlfriend just because you two had sex. Men want to set the pace, he is going to be the one asking you for a relationship and he doesn't want you to be suddenly pursuing him with phone calls and texts every day....or acting as if you are "the girlfriend". So just be cool and go on with your life....keep dating other men! He is not your boyfriend, so don't sit around waiting for his call.....
That is my advice, just don't worry about it so much, if he doesn't call you have your answer....he wasn't for you.
A
male
reader, romance_boy18  +, writes (7 April 2009):
 for one thing if he met me, id knock his lights out if he really did use you. aside from that, u shouldnt let 1 guy decide your future relationships to find that great guy if your life. alot of guys out there are just jurks to begin with or they just try to get back at girls for girls hurting them. in relationships, u always get hurt at least once, its the pain we must face which hurts deeply, trust me i know. some guys think there all that and think they can have anyone they want, its just hard to tell who they are. all guys are different so dont lose faith in finding the one. hope this helps hun
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A
male
reader, Guitarist +, writes (7 April 2009):
 Dont say that. I believe i'm a nice guy, i always try my best to make people happy but girls ALWAYS seem to hurt me. think you just need to find the right one.
I know it wasn't too soon to sleep with him but next time, make the guy wait longer, then you'll know for sure what he really wants.
does seem crazy how this guy would wait for 7 weeks though. maybe theres something bothering him? i dont know. sorry i couldn't be more help.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): Anon male reader what are you talking about? Seven weeks is far from too soon in a regular non-abstinent relationship, there is no set time to begin having sex, it's down to mutual consent.
To the original poster, kinda need a bit more infromation in what way is he ignoring you? Have you seen him since? Have you been texting him or something?
4 days isn't that long but I don't know what his past behaviour to you was or how regualar your contact was with him.
There could be loads of reasons he hasn't called, but without having more informtion it's impossible for me to say, I can say however that it might not be what you think it is.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2009): You guys slept together too soon alright. At least next time you'll know not to.
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