A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have a sexual dysfunction ,what started 8 years ago.The doctor couldn't diagnose me with any condition,what can cause this. Not even after several specialists visit.As strange as it sounds ,I don't know why do I have this problem. That I lost interest in sex, and I lose my erection, if finally we do have sex with my wife. It is consistent and not changing. I also, never think of sex. She is very sad about this situation, and she thinks ,I'm not in love with her. But I don't lie ,when I say, I have no idea , why is this happening. I used to chase her around, ,I had very high sex drive, and never once an erection failure, since 16. we are together since 21.. Sometimes, when she is very angry, she says, you will get it back with an other woman. My question is , is it possible, that it is partner specific? Did it ever happen to someone, that it came back,with someone else after such a long time ? Im confused.. Thanks
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male
reader, wiseoldman +, writes (5 June 2011):
You've been together over 30 years. You are suffering from what is called "The Coolidge Effect", named after American president Calvin Coolidge. The President and Mrs. Coolidge were being shown [separately] around an experimental government farm. When Mrs. Coolidge came to the chicken yard she noticed that a rooster was mating very frequently. She asked the attendant how often that happened and was told, “Dozens of times each day.” Mrs. Coolidge said, “Tell that to the President when he comes by.” Upon being told, the President asked, “Same hen every time?” The reply was, “Oh, no, Mr. President, a different hen every time.” President Coolidge replied “Tell that to Mrs. Coolidge.”
Unfortunately this is a phenomenon not only confined to roosters, but has also been noted in nearly every mammalian species in which it has been tested. Both males AND females exhibit continuous high sexual performance given the introduction of a new receptive partner. So you should also keep your sex-starved wife away from lifeguards and bodybuilders!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2011): No doubt the docs will have asked, but do you get decent erections at other times? That can be quite telling.
I can't say anything about getting it back with another partner, not having had one, but I can certainly identify with your issue. Been with the same partner for 30 years, and it's been a very long time since anything changed in the bedroom. Same moves, and worse, knowing exactly what will happen if we're going to get down to it. And it simply doesn't work any more. Can't offer any help, but I can commiserate.
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A
female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (5 June 2011):
 Actually yes. There have been studies that show that long term monogamy kills a guys sex drive.
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