A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 33 and have been married for 3 year, dating for 5. I was coming out of a bad relationship and this older, successful man came into my life. after 2 years, i figured it was time to get married. I started doubting my happiness in my marriage almost immediatly (about 6 months after). He is a crude man and offends people easliy. But oddly enough, has a big heart and is sweet when he wants to be.About 6 months ago, I met a younger man while away for training for a new job. I don't want to sound cheesy but it was love at first sight, for both of us. We were inseperable and sharded such a powerful realtionship. I thought to myself that THIS is what its supposed to be like. For the next 2 months we talked about our future, how in love we were as we continued our affair.My husband found out, was furious and demanded I stopped talking to him. He forgave me and said he would change. Even after I did not stop and he checked my phone, he forgave me again and again.I have to say that he has put in a lot of effort, tells me he loves me and basically I just feel like my feelings have changed. I feel smoothered and empty. The other man has lost hope that I will ever leave my husband and it totally devestated about the situation that he tells me he just can't do it anymore and if I ever leave my husband he would be there, but cant until then. Its too painful for him.I am beyond confused and dont know if I should give it another go with my husband, (i did marry him and he has been trying) or follow my heart and be with the one I love...
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 April 2013):
 I am thinking you need to at minimum get a legal separation from your husband (and a divorce if he asks for it) and see what happens when you are ON YOUR OWN.
DO NOT go from one man to another... that's a recipe for disaster.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2013):
K c 100 is very right in what she says .. It's time to move on and give your husband time to heal and find someone worthy of his love .. I'm sorry but that's not you ..
I will add though , you may find that this fantasy love that you have may or may not last ,. Your lover may find that long term is not his thing after all, the secret meeting will now become routine with dinner and who's doing the dishes and haven't you done the laundry by now ..
But first of let your husband go .. There will be a women out there pleased to be loved and cared for and will return his feeling 100% that honey is not you..
Good luck though x
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (5 April 2013):
 You have already broken all of your marriage vows, and even in the face of your husband trying his best to fix it you still dont care and are still trying to continue your affair.
You dont love or respect your husband at all, and he deserves a lot better than you. Set him free to find a woman that truly loves him and can be the wife he wants, he is obviously a very kind and genuine man if he keeps forgiving you, he clearly loves you and I'm sorry to say this but you dont deserve his love when you so willingly flaunt your unfaithfulness in his face.
There is nothing left in this marriage, you have destroyed it and have no feelings for your husband so the best thing you can do is to end it now, so you can end the pain you are putting your husband through. You will never be happy in this marriage, you want to be with someone else and that is the end of it.
Leave him and be with the man you want to be with - your husband deserves better so let him go so he can be happy with a loving, kind and faithful woman.
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