A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi I have been with my boyf for about 8 months and the last few I have been noticing how he always has to be right. I don't know whether I'm overreacting but I feel myself getting very frustrated sometimes in conversation. Some examples: When I try to share some knowledge, eg the other day I said 'periods tend to stop when they're in water'. An he immediately said 'Well that's not true!!!' I was kind of shocked by that reaction so i just left it and went a bit quiet. It upset though because it didn't make sense, why would he not believe me?We played table tennis the other day and I have been playing in the league since I was 6 so I know all the rules. He has never played. I was scoring and he was disagreeing with the way I scored as if he knew more than me, he's never played!! We both drive, I've been driving for about 5 years and he has for about 3. We were in a car park an I went into a space an he said 'maybe go in the one in front so you can drive straight out'. Which I was about to do anyway! Then when I parked he was like 'are you sure you got enough room to get out?' I said yes even though it was a bit of a squeeze but didn't bother me. When we got back an went to get back in the car he saw me squeezing into my seat an laughed an said 'thought you said you had enough room'. Sorry I probably sound really petty but its all these little things of him kind of telling me what to do that annoy me. I want to be able to tell him things he doesn't already know. I appreciate any advise you have? :) xx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2013): I'm the person that asked this question.
Thanks for the advise but I'm not asking whether periods stops when they're in water that's not the point of my question.
I just wanted to give you some examples they aren't very good ones and do make it sound petty but its not.
Basically in conversation he picks at every little thing I say, if I say an incorrect word he'll pick me up on it. He basically dismisses any opinions I have and tells me they are wrong, because I'm a woman, he doesn't argue with men.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2013): As a woman who was on a high school swim team for 3 years, I can assure you that periods do NOT stop when you are in the water. You can even have a tampon in and be in the water and it still will not stop the flow.Perhaps he was disagreeing on the scoring because you were beating him at table tennis and he wanted to win. You are, after all, better at it than he is.Finally, i think he was trying to be suggestive/helpful regarding parking. You feel you are intelligent. Being 'right' is what you are accustomed to. You are not accustomed to people challenging anything you say or do because you believe you know the facts and you do things the smart or strategic way. If you are anything like me, being 'smart' is part of your identity and feeling like someone is challenging your intelligence hurts and angers you. I have been in a relationship with a man who is always right for 9 years. His IQ is 40 points higher than mine. We used to clash all of the time because I used to get so angry when he was right and I was wrong (which was almost always). But, the way he reacted the handful of times i've been right was incredibly awful--he would outright lose his temper immediately and just rage at me. After years of nasty arguments about being right or wrong, bruised egos, and general nastiness because being intelligent is a part of our identities we seem to have come to a conclusion:It is better to learn to view any occasion where you are probably 'wrong' as a learning opportunity instead of a personal attack on your intelligence.Which brings me back to the period thing. I'd never heard it before and I know for me personally it is not true. HOWEVER, what I didn't tell you is that I have always had heavy flow and when I was in high school I stupidly took an aspirin-containing medication for menstrual troubles. Since aspirin thins blood and I have heavy periods water pressure wasn't enough to stop my flow. If you want your period statement to be true, all you have to do is say "many women have noticed that their periods tend to stop when they are submerged in water." when challenged, all you have to say is it has something to do with the water pressure stopping bloodflow temporarily. personally, i think that the water dilutes the flow making it unnoticable...but i can't prove this. I don't know if this is right. And you know what? I'm perfectly okay with someone proving me wrong because that means I've learned something and I won't have my facts wrong on it next time.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 April 2013):
 You sound petty about the car for sure. He was right you had to squeeze so you didn't have enough room.
As for periods stopping in water... they don't stop, but the flow lessens based on how you are swimming the temp of the water and the fact that the pressure of the water will cause it to appear to stop.
I can't speak to table tennis since I don't play.
Seems you have to be right all the time too huh?
My husband hates the way I drive. I just glare at him and point out that he was still in diapers when I learned to drive. I can't control how he feels. I hate how he drives. I swear sometimes for sanity I just meet him at places we have to be together.
He kept telling me that the fork he likes to use is the dinner fork and I tried to explain it was the SALAD fork.
Finally I went online and looked it up and showed him I was correct and he was wrong. It was very hard for him to admit this since his beloved (can do no wrong..she raised me from a pup) grandmother had taught him incorrectly and he did not want to admit she might be wrong.... (cause that may mean all the other things she taught her are wrong now too (they are but it's ok)
In the case of something factual, I find that the internet is my ally (I did look up the period stopping in water question btw)
If you want to get him to back off with INCORRECT information prove to him (gently) that he's incorrect.
But be prepared (as in the case of your period stopping in water) to eat crow say mea culpa and apologize so that when he's wrong and you prove it, he can do the same.
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