A
female
age
51-59,
Marie13
writes:My boyfriend and i met through youtube and became friends and it took off on as a relationship.We have so much in commen and he means the world to me.We have been dating for 6 months and i am on the process of moving to east coast with him.He means the world to me but, he suffers from depression and he was honest with me to share it with me but, it is so difficult because when he feel down he doesn't call me or txt me and i worry so much. I have a job that i travel alot and when i am at work all i do is worry about him.If i didn't care so much for him i would have walk away from this relationship.I try to reasure hime that my move will be soon to be patient. He started telling me that he wish i would be there for himand maybe his depression wouldn't be so severe but, i am doing the best that i can do.I want to talk to his family maybe we can help each other but, i am affraid if i talk to his family he will be offended and get upset. We live so many miles appart and i know it is difficult but, i can't move yet.I try to reasure him but, i am running out of things. I always tell him i love him and that he is my rock and to stay strong until i get there.I mean everthing i say to him but, i think as time goes on it is getting harder for both of us. Please if anyone has some advice or is going through the same thing please share it with me.
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female
reader, Plain Jane  +, writes (4 October 2012):
 Can you take a month or 2 leave (maybe no pay leave) to give yourself a trial for staying with him rather than sacrifice your career or other things to move over ?Learn more about his family members, his background...etcDistance make our heart eager to be near with our love ones but when 2 people are living together, things may not be what we expect sometimes.I had a long distance relationship with a man who had a depression record. He claimed that he is fully recovered and happy. When he is in a depressing mood, he turn out to be like another person. When he is in good mood, everything is so beautiful but thinking of spending a long term relationship with him, I rather stay away and be a happy single again. Though I am in my mid 40s.Good luck and take care of your heart...life is short.
A
female
reader, Zara7861  +, writes (4 October 2012):
It's sound as though he depends on you to make him feel better. You say he is your rock sounds like you are his too. He seems very dependent on you and rightly so you are together but the fact that he was honest with you also shows that he is serious about you and doesn't want to mess you about. Before talking to his family try talking to him one more time as he may not like it or feel comfortable to discuss this issue with them depending on his relationship with his family ofcourse. There are lots of ways today to overcome depression ask him to maybe talk to his doctor or see a depression counsellor who can possibly help him because you also have to remember that while he shares things with you and relies on you. If you ever for example broke up, God forbid, you may not be there to pick up the pieces.So if you truly love him encourage him to ask for help or try some different activities like maybe joining yoga classess or local sport clubs to meet new people and get a change of environment which may make him more happier and enable him to concentrate on your relationship rather than his need for you when the going gets tough. Give him some space. Sometimes alone time is good if hr doesn't call or text jus drop him a text saying I love you that's it it will remind him that you care. Also instead of repeatedly telling him you love him show him by little touching gestures every now and then like a surprise visit or a present or trying different romantic things but also communication is very important too discuss with him about his family to see his comfort zone with them and if these thongs don't work and you feel its right to do so then maybe speak to his family. But it sounds as though you are blessed and happy so don't let it go. Good luck x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2012): Hi there! I can totally relate to your bf situation.I also have a tendency to get so depressed and when i do i end up not talking to people i care the most because of imaginary fears.What you need to do:1. Give him a huge amount of understanding. Meaning, you have to initiate contacting him to make sure his fine and to make the relationship works.2. Encourage him to ask for a professional help. Maybe you can tell him, baby, maybe it would be best if we ask professional help for your depression. tell him you worry for him and you love him that's why you thought of asking a professional help.3. Research on net About topics how to deal with depression. For you to have better understanding about your bf's situation and share with him what you learned.I am not suggesting for you to talk to his family at this time, for it might not help him, he might not appreciate the thought. You know him for 6 months, do you think his the type of guy who wont mind to let his family interfere with his situation?Before you do something, think twice first. if your not sure, then don't do it.If you really love him,you need to be strong to make the relationship works. People who suffers depression just need a huge amount of understanding and love. Most of all i encourage you to pray to GOD. Because, only GOD can do wonders and miracles in our life.I hope things will go well with both of you, Good luck..
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