A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Whats wrong with me?Im having some serious issues with myself right now and I don’t know what to do or what Im even doing.For starters I feel like im not good enough for my boyfriend. Hes popular, funny, full of confidence and the tall, dark and handsome in appearance. Im not all that popular (I have a small close group of friends and that’s it because throughout school the group I was in all stabbed you behind your back constantly and would say nasty things all the time and be bitchy etc so I decided I didn’t want to be part of that so since then I only have a few friends) and im shy…with my friends im not so shy but around people who don’t know me well or I don’t know and stuff im very shy and reserved and im short, red hair and im over-weight.My bf always has girls eyeing him up and a lot of people became jealous when I began going out with him. And thing is hes been with a lot of girls. He is the 4th guy Ive been with where as Im well when it comes to girlfriends Im his 3rd serious one but when it comes to the amount of girls he has slept with im almost number 60. He has lots of nuts and zoo magazines which I hate and I seriously feel like I cant compare to all these thin girls and all the girls in magazines and on tv who yes are photo shopped but all look incredible. Secondly Im unhappy with work things. The people I work with are horrible and half the time I don’t want to be here. I don’t make that much money either. The job I do has 3 of us doing it…it used to be two other girls who worked 4 days on and 4 off and I worked mon-fri with those ever shift was on but one left and I got her job and another girl got mines. Well the girl who left was making £8 an hour, the other is making around £10+ and I was on £6.54….why one makes much more I don’t know.Well the girl left and I got her job and then another girl got mines. Well the other on shifts still earns £10+ , Im still on £6.54 after being in the office for 2 years and having changed to shifts for the past 8 month and the new girl is on £6.60 after being here 6 months. I mean wtf??? She earns 6p more than me, has been here no where near as long and is 3 years younger than me.Also my boyfriend who is 27 (didn’t mention that before) he works at a fish factory…he does not work with fish but is a data recorder or whatever. He works in a small office with other people too. He earns £6.50 per hour and also gets £20 each week for shift allowance (he works 6-2 one week and then 2-10 the next) he can also work every 2nd or 3rd Saturday or Sunday. He started working here when he was 18 and it was only supposed to be for a year to get money but he met a girl who worked here and then moved in with her and ended up staying at the factory…got engaged to this girl then they split but because he’s been there so long he doesn’t seem to want to leave. He hates the people he works with and says the job is fine. Why cant he just move on? He is such a smart guy, the kind who really could do amazingly well in life yet he continues to work in a factory making 6.50 the hour when I know he can do so much better.I live with him and when I started going out with him I has savings of £2000 and as of right now my account is sitting at -£1000. ive managed to lose 3000. I moved in with him and just through helping him pay bills and stuff then food etc my moneys went down plus I have my own car and ive had to pay my insurance, road tax, petrol plus my mot ended up being £400.Im now officially obsessed that we need to earn more money because I honestly feel like I cant continue to live with him as my finances are draining. Between us we have like nothing. And as said before I already feel not good enough for him but me being me I feel like hes not going to be good enough for me money wise which makes me an absolutely terrible person. Between us we make £25,000 per annun and that’s not enough.Im snobby at times I can admit that….i was brought up in a wealthy family. Out of my grandparents, aunts, uncles, my own parents etc….the one who earns the least would be my aunt and she earns around £40,000.I need help. My boyfriend asked would you rather I made £5 and be happy or £10 and not like my job….my answer is £10. how horrible am I for saying that? Plus right now he is not happy in his job but he doesn’t seem to plan on leaving so whats the deal right.
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confidence, engaged, I work with, jealous, money, move on, moved in, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, BondGirl72  +, writes (12 August 2012):
 If your relationship isn't a source of strength and support for you as you go through hard times with your friendships and job, then I would leave it. A relationship is supposed to be your soft place to fall...as is a proper boyfriend. You don't mention any good things about your relationship/boyfriend, so I have to wonder if it is working for you.
Truth be told, you are probably living with him because he needed a reliable roommate to help with the bills. If you feel he is draining you financially, I would look for your own place. I think you have a right to be concerned about money as you were much more well off than you are now. Plus, it does take money to make a life with another person. I guess it depends on if you feel he is pulling his own weight or if you are taking most of the responsibility. It seems as if you feel you are taking on most of the responsibility and you feel bitter about it. In that case, I think you need to move out.
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