A
female
age
30-35,
*oveandsuch
writes:Hello everyone!My situation is that I have been dating my boyfriend for ten months now. We have pretty much decided that we will get married one day and that we are soulmates. He just finished college and I have one year left. The school that I go to has an open guest policy which means you can have a guest over for as long as you would like. My boyfriend and I have been discussing living together in my dorm room for the school year. I live in a single so we would not be bothering anyone. And my boyfriend and I have pretty much lived together for the past three months while I have been on break before the school year. Otherwise, we would have to go back to being in a long distance relationship. I am not sure if he would be with me the whole school year, but he would at least be with me for long periods of time.I wonder if this is a good idea? I want to hear people's opinions on the idea of living with a boyfriend in a dorm room and perhaps some advice or tips that they could give. Thank you!-Emma
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2009): Unless he has something to do during the day, being stuck on campus in a tiny dorm spells serious trouble. I second the opinion that you should try to get an apartment off campus and that he needs to find something to occupy himself during the day, like a job. Even if he has a job, living together will have a very different and possibly negative feeling if you have to be in a dorm with group bathrooms where you eat meals in a cafeteria, this is going to be awkward. I would try for an apartment if you intend to have a pleasant living situation.
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (13 August 2009):
 I liked what my 22 year old daughter recently told me about living together before marriage.
Why would you consider getting married if living together is an amicable situation? What would make a guy want to change it and get married? And therefore; Why live together before marriage? He's just going to think that living together is the status quo! Nothing special! Nothing new! Nothing important!
It's wonderful living with a guy. It REALLY is. But that's what you do when you Marry!
Even if you do decide that this is right for you, I think that you need to consider that you should have a formal commitment before you do live together. Like an engagement. With a ring. At least, it solidifies that you are moving forward.
Unfortunately, a lot of live in relationships never sign on the dotted line. The important thing is to make any relationship an honest one before you get into a situation where you consider that your CHILDREN may wind up becoming the participants in a household that isn't united legally. The fact is, THEY might wind up becoming another statistic. Kids do better when their parents are committed. It's that simple.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2009): Hey! If you have a single, then it could be ok, so long as he doesnt have too much stuff in your room. It really depends on how strict your school is about guests etc and if it would either get noticed or bother anyone who might report it. Also, could you just get a little appartment together near campus? That way you could each have some individual space and he wouldnt feel like he was spending a year as an extra in your life, not really living his own.
What is he planning on doing for the year work wise? What will he be doign all day? I would say, go for a 1-bed appartemnt where at least you can each have a desk of your own and some real together time, in a place that is both of yours... that way there will be less stress on the realtionship! :) I hope this helps, message me if you want to chat any more about it!
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