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female
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anonymous
writes: hey guys would love your advice please! im 18 and have been with my bf for 3 years. he is joining the army on monday. last week he asked me that once ive finished my a-levels and have got a job would i like to get a place with him. i totaly love this idea and said yes but now ive got some reservations. im gonna be on my own most of the time because he is going to be away alot and people keep telling me that living on ure own gets very lonely. what would u do if u were 18 and in this situation? any help would be greatly appreciated xXx Reply to this Question
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reader, jo_betty_smith  +, writes (27 May 2006):
 I live on my own because my relationship is currently long distance and it can be pretty difficult and is worth thinking about carefully but it is do-able. Not everyone who lives on their own (or just on their own for a lot of the time, as it would be in your case) is lonely. All I'd say is that if you decide that you want to do this, you should probably make sure you've got enough friends and family to rely on, so that you're not entirely on your own whenever your boyfriend is away and that you don't feel isolated. Also, there are always things that crop up when you're in your own place, like fuses going and water leaks, and these can all be pretty difficult to deal with if you've not got other support to call on for the times when you're on your own. However, it's really good that you're thinking about it and not just heading into it blindly thinking how wonderful it will be to have a place with your boyfriend, you're also thinking through all the other issues. That's really the best thing you can be doing, is considering it carefully before you decide if you're the kind of person who could cope living in a place when you have a boyfriend who is away a lot. Not all 18 year olds are at the same level of maturity, so you know best yourself if you're ready for it and it feels like the right time in your life to move out of home. It can also be really good to have a place of your own, as it gives you a chance to really get to know yourself and become confident and independent.
A
female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (26 May 2006):
 Maybe dont move in with him just yet. If hes going to be away so much there isnt that much point in living together. Maybe hang tough a while, if he wants to get a place and you stay over when hes around then good, and maybe stay living at home for the time being. Unless you of course both rent a double room somewhere in a shared house, its cheaper, you still get the use of all the facilities, you get your private time and when hes away there will be others in the house so you wont be as lonely!
Good luck!
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