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female
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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend never finishes anything he starts!I love my boyfriend very much, we been together for nearly 9 years and we’ve had lots of fun. Because of him we went abroad and taught English for three years and had a fantastic time. He’s funny and clever and cute. But since we got back from living abroad he has become completely lost about what to do with his life. He constantly starts courses and then quits them half way through – he’s spent hundred’s doing this with the Open University and local courses. He has a new idea for our future everyday (well it seems like that!), and then changes his mind. I have to say that I am loosing respect for him because of his lack of commitment to anything – I can’t understand why when he starts something he can’t just finish it. This is causing a lot of rows – I always feel like any ideas he has I have to disagree with now so that he doesn’t go off and do and then not finish it half way through. I feel bad for him because he’s obviously unhappy with where he is right now, his job is boring and we’re back in England after living abroad – but it wasn’t my idea to come home, it was his, I wish we’d stayed out there. But now, because of an idea of his, we’ve bought a flat, and the likelihood of us going away again is diminishing. Some days I love him so much and feel so bad that he’s unhappy and others I just want to shake some sense into him. It’s not that I know any better what to do with my life, but I’m just getting on with it, but maybe I’m wrong and should try to make other plans – but that’s fine as long as you carry them through surely. All we do is argue these days, about stupid stuff, money and how I think he’s stupid with money. When I make suggestions about how to decorate the flat they get ignored. He gets cross with me because he says I don’t listen to him – and to be honest sometimes I do just switch off because I don’t want to hear the stupid plans anymore – he goes on and on about some amazing way we could make money or get better jobs – but I just think the ideas are ridiculous! I don’t know if I should be a more supportive girlfriend and try some ideas, but I’m so worried about the amount of money he wants to spend on some of these schemes.
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female
reader, shania  +, writes (27 May 2006):
 Its all down to compromise....no one is perfect and i know a few people like your boyfriend who starts a project...gets all enthusiastic then gives up half way.I think if a person keeps doing that then im afraid its one of these traits you probably wont change much.Its whether you can put up with this?..At least your boyfriend is sure about one thing....and thats you.He has stayed the distance with his love for you.I think he needs some firm guidance from you,especially if a lot of money is involved in these projects of his.You should sit down with him and ask him where he see's you two in 3 years time from now? You will have to be the sensible one and make him listen to you....i know you feel like shutting off but if you explain the situation to him and say you need some kind of stability for both your future then maybe he will take stock on what you said.If you still love him and he loves you...then you can work it out.
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