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anonymous
writes: I'm 17, and a senior in high school. I just got out of a relationship with a girl who is now a freshmen in college. I love her so much, and she is who I am meant to be with. I would give anything to be with her, and her only. But she is not ready for commitment. She and I both enjoy going to parties, but she doesn't want a serious boyfriend. She always goes out with her friends and has one night stands with other guys. She basically broke it off with me before she went to college. Now she won't talk to me or anything. So I have to wait until she comes home to try to get her to understand how in love with her I am. But, in the meantime, I have another problem: Her younger sister. She's a sophmore at my school. Every time I see her, it's like I'm seeing the girl I love (her older sister). I know it's not right, but it's like when I'm with her I'm with a little part of her sister. Her sister likes me a lot. But I am in love with her older sister. Should I take what I can get for right now, or do the same thing to her that her older sister did to me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2005): The previous answer is just about what I would have said, if a little more brusque. You think you have just two choices: "Should I take what I can get for right now, or do the same thing to her that her older sister did to me?" They are both unfair to the younger sister, and the first option is dishonest and bound to end badly. Even if you had a bit of genuine interest in her for herself, it would still be a dreadful idea, considering your history with the older sister and your feelings for her.
On the other hand, "doing the same thing to her that her older sister did" to you is petty and vengeful. If the younger sister is interested in you, you should tell her something nice (as long as it's true)--like she's a great girl and you enjoy being with her--but that you don't want to be more than a good friend to her because of your unfortunate history with her big sister.
If the big sister is no longer speaking to you, it sounds as though you've already made yourself unwelcome in some way, even as just a friend. You should be looking at what happened there. Maybe you can learn something from that experience.
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reader, helpfull girl +, writes (28 August 2005):
if i am 2 be honest with you and i will not offend you like the answer up above did! what you really need to do is stay away from the big sister if she is not intrested in being freinds nor ralationship then sod her! little sister you should only stay freinds with for the mean time when you are totally over her big sister then see how you and little sister get on in a ralationship!
how ever though by staying away from big sister for a while there is a possibilitie big sister will realise how much she misses you and will cum crawling back probally, but if she doesnt then do as i said! give it a go with little sister when you are over big sister!
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reader, pops +, writes (28 August 2005):
Keep it in your pants, idiot. Of course the older sister is not interested in dating you seriously. She is older than you by at least a year, and several years older than you emotionally. The younger sister is more your age, but she is too young, as a sophomore, for you to be fooling around with. And, its obvious that most of your interest is a grudge to get even with the older sister, and not any real interest in the younger sister. She is most probably under the age of consent, which means you can go to jail. She certainly is still a minor, and you can be prosecuted for contributing to her sexual delinquency, and go to jail for that, if not for Sexual assault. Leave the younger sister alone, and find someone your own age.
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