A
female
age
36-40,
*ora2211
writes:if i knew what to do i wouldn't be here but i need help and advice the man i'm with has left me with no friends and feeling like my life isn't important enough to discuss sometimes i feel if i start talking who'd actually listen.i'm with my partner 6 years were 3 year together before i even became pregnant i tried to finish it loads of times but he'd come forward and convince me to stay with him. Low and behold i did, how i regret it. looking back to the person i once was to the person i have become. i feel unrecognisable. this is not me but yet i don't have the strength to move away. i haven't got the strength to go through courts to sort out legal obligations to our child. the worst thing is i'm only 24.after the baby was born i really felt i was being put down, i really felt like a women of 1920's only here to serve for him, since my boy has been 3 wks old i've been in college trying to make something of my life so i could provide for my son but i've been critised the whole way through.there has been a lot of violence between us, once we went to new york with his family and i gave his father a coffee sachet before we went out for a few drinks. when we got back to our room i stuck the kettle on for a cup of tea but when i realised there was no sugar my partner hit the roof and battered me, roaring abuse, i was terrified, with only 2 days left i thought i'd never get home to see my son. the very last night i fell asleep and he woke me up and went mad at me because he wanted to have sex. that night was the worst night of my life. we were 13 storeys up, he threatened to chuck me out the window, he spat at me, threw me around, pinned me up against the wall, broke some of my stuff as if i was nothing as if he just picked me up that night when we got home stupid me forgave him and more stuff happened. i can't even talk to his brother without him stating that i fancy him. i can't talk about anyone whitout him asking how do i know him or her. if he does't like someone i know he'll say stop talking to them and without realising i would.i feel so weak and i'm letting everyone down if i didn't have my son i would have probably liked myself long time ago. the reason why i'm writing is because i started college a few weeks ago, and went out on a social night, we all got drunk, and i was dancing with one of the lads in the class there was nothing to it but a few days later my partner took my fone without telling me, although i had a feeling he took it i didn't want to believe. He read and analysed my messages and phone calls. He came up with his own story and started throwing out all these suggestions. i'm such a dope because when i get nervous i just agree with him. At the beginning he had me believe that someone was telling him eveything and then he came clean about taking my phone.i didn't say anything just grovelled as usual and offered to give up college but he said i didn't have to but i had to move in with him but i can't if i do that i'll never be free. so he got all annoyed and told me if i went back to college he'd go in and make a show of me. so now my parents are going mad because of his controlling disrespectful behaviour and he's on the other side saying they have no right to judge him, it was their little tramp of a daughter they should be judging. i don't want a big thing made but i can't take this please help before i have neervous breakdown.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2009): No.1You're not married to this guy - Thank God!So stay with your parents - under no circumstances move in with him!!!No.2Remember you do have rights - legal aid will help you with all that.Don't feel you are tied to this man because you have a child together - you and your son may well be better without by the sounds of it.Speak to your parents first - be careful not to get them angry enough with him to do something silly. Do it the right way - see a solicitor and find out your rights.N0. 3For Gods sake don't let him talk you round again - my sister married a jealous man who beat the daylights out of her when ever he had a few drinks and got jealous for no good reason. My parents didn't want her to have anything to do with him but it fell on deaf ears and she married him anyway - they are now separated.Please don't keep all this to yourself any longer and confide in your parents - but they have to remember to thread carefully with this guy if you and them want rid of him - you don't want him getting the upper hand and calling the Guards on any of you - be smart.Good Luck - life still has a lot going for you girl - only 24 - the world is at your feet.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2009): Get away from him! What he does to you is not normal and not acceptable...Can't you and your child go back to your parents? Then they can help you break things up with that man. If you need go to the police, ask for a judicial order to make him stay away from you.
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A
female
reader, trigger18  +, writes (14 November 2009):
listen hunny,
from my point of veiw this guy in no way deserves you. parents are there for a reason hunny and i think u shud listen to them and let him go. he dosent treat u rite in any way and hes possesive, controlling and telling u how to live ur life. no one shud tell u how to live ur life. and for the sake of ur son get out of there. who knows wot he mite do to u kid wen hes old enuf to talk back if ur partner is like this with u.
talk to ur parents on how to get rid of him. u are not a peice of shit ur partner is and he shudnt be treating u like this. ul be much better off with out him. think about it you will have friends of ur own ul be able to speak to whoever u want to and there will be someone else out there who will love u and ur son a hell of alot better than this guy will. beleive me. ur not a slave ur a human being with feelings and he shud treat u like a human being. not like a slave pushing u around all the time. good luck xx
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