A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating this girl for 8 months and during relationship we had confessed our love for each other several times. Last week I confessed to her that I lied about smoking cigarettes. Over the course of our relationship, she had asked several times if I had been smoking. Each time I denied it. Last week I told her that I was. Now she says she had lost trust in me and wants me to move on. Obviously it was the lying about smoking that she had a problem with. I love her to death and want to ask her forgiveness. How should I do that? Should I do it right away or should I wait a week. Please help
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (18 August 2010):
 I wonder if I'm the only one who finds it comical that she said she believed your lies that you weren't smoking. Smoking is one of those things that just sticks to you. She knew you were lying before you confessed. She's pissed because it took you 8 months to tell the truth about a relatively minor thing.
Here's my take. She's looking at your lack of honesty about something small as indicitive of your overall character. If you can lie about this for 8 months, what about if you're cheating? Which in some ways is much easier to conceal.
Give her a couple of days and then apologize again. Let her know you've learned your lesson and see if she'll take you back. It may seem silly or small, but overall honesty is very important to a relationship. You failed this test repeatedly.
A
female
reader, LublyuYa  +, writes (18 August 2010):
My boyfriend lied to me about smoking, and even worse made his friends hide it from me as well. It's not cheating, yes, but I trusted him and that trust took a little while to rebuilt again - he knew I dont like smokers but wanted to stay together and was worried I'd leave. It would have been a LOT easier to deal with an get over if he immediately told me the truth. But if you kept lying to your girl and then finally came clean, of course she's going to be mad. That's why I disagree with bernard - its a lot easier to love someone 'as they are' if they are honest, can't expect to come clean about lying and immediately get understanding.Sorry for the rant, but regarding your question -- depends on how close you are. If you are constantly hanging out, texting, calling and such, don't wait a week, wait a day or two to let her cool down. If you aren't in contact as often, maybe wait a bit longer.Hope all goes well :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2010): im sorry but your girlfriend needs to get over it!! its not like you were cheating! okay i understand that she didnt like the fact you lied to her but try to explain to her that its only because you were scared that if she found out you smoked that she might of finishd you and you wouldnt want that to happen and how sorry you are for making her feel like she carnt trust you, (say it with a bunch of flowers) best of luck xx
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