A
female
age
30-35,
*ecretsSuck
writes:I have this predicament.. I want to tell the whole story so everyone knows all sides.. I met this guy when i was 11 years old and we always flirted and we were good friends and then years later after him moving away and everything we got ahold of each other (just to talk) and we decided to start dating and we dated for almost a year and then out of nowhere he broke up with me for a bunch of excuses... not long after i met this incredible and adorable guy and we hit it off really well and we dated for 2 years then got married. during those 2 years i never saw my ex nor spoke to him. then i got married and a month or so afterwards my ex came to where i worked and as soon as we saw each other i started to get nervous and sweaty and right then i knew i was still in love with him... and he came and talked to me like we picked up where we left off.. he got ahold of me not long after we saw each other and we talked and it felt good to talk and he told me he still loved me. at first i didnt tell him my feelings then we decided to meet up (nothing sexually ever happened just so we're clear!) and i let him know how he made me feel when we split and how i was feeling now.. well i told my husband me and my ex met up because im not one to keep secrets from my husband and my husband cried.... he told me to make a choice him or my ex and naturally i chose my husband.. so my ex understood and we quit talking... then months later i get a text from my ex and i dont respond right away but i decide to call weeks later to see how he is doing and we have been texting ever since and i feel guilty and last time i talked to my ex my husband told me if it happened again he would leave me.. i dont want to tell my husband because i dont want to lose everything i have. I love my husband but every second of every hour of every day i think about my ex and i know i have to sort out my feelings but there are things holding me to my husband and things holding me to my ex and i simply cant make a choice... advice would be greatly appreciated!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (2 February 2011):
 You have to stop contacting your ex. Try and spend more time with your husband, go out and have fun with him because it is good for your marriage in general and it will help you take your mind off of your ex. You are married and marriage is a commitment, one that you have to respect and to do that, you have to do whatever it takes to get your ex out of your head. Replace every thought you have of him with something else, find something to focus on. good luck.
I hope that helps.
A
female
reader, BriBri +, writes (2 February 2011):
DROP HIM!Lying goes to cheating trust me i have had a guy do that to me and i am still hurting over it so dump him now before you hurt later on.
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A
female
reader, just a female  +, writes (2 February 2011):
 oh dear, ok well, if you stil have strong feelings for your ex then the only fair thing to do would be leave your husband till you know what boy you want to be with.its not fair on either boys to keep them like this.but it sound like your ex does not want to let go of you.does he know your married?if you love your husband more make it very clear to your ex that you do not want to be contacted again by him other wise these feeling s you have for him might keep plaguing and ruining you marrige.if you love your ex more and want to be with him well divorce your husband and be with your ex.your husband sounds like a nice, sensitive guy and i dont think he deserves to know that you are constantly in contact with your ex. he deserves better.you say there are pros and cons for both of them, well this is where you weigh those up and decide who you want to be with more, you cant have both.i truelly hope that you make the right decision here, just follow what your heart tells you. im sure you will make the right choice.xxx
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