A
female
age
51-59,
*hippy2
writes:I am just tired of men and the whole dating sex game.I was with what I thought was a wonderful man for 4yrs and yeh he was using me and cheating and doing drugs and treated me terribly - I didnt let myself see it till near the end.Now I am mad at myself for wasting time with him - I still miss him in some ways but he grabbed someone else right away and is engaged. Poor sad thing, I think she is the rebound and he doesnt even know what he is doing - anyway, I had a really healthy sexual appetite when I met him but he squashed me by turning me down alot. ( I know that it was a control issue). Before him and since then I have some dear FWB that I have been seeing.But even that now is just not gratifying. They are younger and the sex is good - its just that I dont want to put the effort into meeting up w them.Whats wrong with me? Someday I want to meet a man of my own with whom I can have a good LTR. But I even stay in my home most of the time especially on the days I know the xbf is off work and may see me like he did yesterday when we were both driving! Aaaargh!Let me add before the boyfriend I was married w children - It was a nasty marriage and a worse divorce - thing are more settled now -I am getting on with the things that make me happy but has anyone gone thru this? Is there something wrong with me? It makes me angry that the xbf has that woman in his bed and I have no-one. Although I know he is cheating on her too because he txt me to meet up with him several times and I wouldnt.Please advise me
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (22 August 2010):
 It's always rough to see an ex move on before you do but seriously the guy doesn't have a great track record so what kind of relationship is it really going to be? Men tend to move on quicker because they are more reliant on sex. Women are more emotional so they get wounded if they are the one left behind and it takes time to recover.
I think you have had a lucky escape...you saw how he was for real at the end of the relationship, so why would you want to stay with someone like that when you already got out of a bad marriage...you have the opportunity to do much better so dont blow your chances...be patient and selective, focus on yourself and your kids.
Being in a relationship is not the be all and end all...in fact you will have a much clearer view of what yoou really want if you have some time on your own away from all the turmoil of relationships.
My ex moved on quickly too, but he ended up being ripped off by her for money and is now having to sell his house to pay for the damage. He left me for her, breaking my heart in the process, and had the front to ring me a few weeks ago to tell me how bad his life was now. I have always been good to him and very caring when we were together but this time I just laughed at him and hung up.
Pay backs a bitch...but you need to not concern yourself with him anymore, no good can come of it.
Good Luck xxx AE x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2010): There is nothing wrong with you. I applaud you for leaving, and so should you. To me it sounds like you knew that it was a bad relationship and got out of it. You should completely stop thinking about him because he sounds like a major loser. And about him having someone else in his bed, im positive you will find a man that is a whole of a hell lot better than he could have ever been that will love and respect you the way you should be. I wish you the best of luck.:]
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