A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, I am the same girl who wrote about my pot head cheating ex boyfriend and I thank you all for your lovely and supportive feedbacks :)So lastnight, I couldn't sleep. I had a lot on my mind. I was talkin to a friend of mine about him and she said that her friend said that my ex boyfriend has been talking to her but she thought that he was talking to this other girl who he cheated on me with. I don't know what to do. Why do I feel sad that he's already talking to girls? I know he didn't care when I left him because he is a freaking pot head and pot heads doesn't have feelings. I am a clean girl and have been very much sober all my life. I've given him everything, like I spoiled him and all I had in return was nothing but a lying cheating whore. What do I do?? I'm leaving for college soon in 5 days. I feel like I miss him and I know I shouldn't because its wrong the way I'm being treated. And I know for a fact that I deserve Wayy better! I don't know, I just wanna hear support and positive things that will come out for leaving him. Thank you
View related questions:
cheated on me, my ex, talking to girls Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CANDY61  +, writes (30 December 2012):
One other thing, cut all contact so you can get over him. I'm sure he'll be ringing your phone off the hook once you leave.
Take Care
A
female
reader, CANDY61 +, writes (30 December 2012):
I am so proud of you!!!!!!Good Girl!!!!! Focus on your
education, get yourself a college friend. On your way back to college remember this... Always put some time in a relationship before falling in love, get to know the guy as much as you can, take it slow and easy, your whole life is ahead of you.
Wish you the best
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (30 December 2012):
 Positives to dumping your pothead, cheating ex bf (in no particular order)
1. You won't have to cover up the weed smell when you go back to your parent's home.
2. You don't have to run out and get him munchies after he smoked a blunt.
3. You don't have to sit there bored while he hits the bong with all of his friends.
4. There's no worrying about what he's doing or who's he with when he's not with you.
5. No more feeling like you're amounting to nothing while being around him.
You have a future ahead of you. A guy that's sits at home and smokes pot doesn't.
Little story, I had a pot smoking boyfriend at 19. I finally left him when I caught him doing a line of coke. Now he's divorced with 3 kids to support, and a 4th on the way since he can't stop spreading his spawn, and he doesn't have a reliable line of work. To top it off, he tried to speak to me telling me he wanted me when I was engaged and still married.
Let's face it, you're better off without him. Trust me on this.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2012): Just think of it this way - whoever gets him will be lucky enough to deal with his drug use and cheating. NOT YOU. Let him talk, flirt and try to get with whoever, you've dodged that bullet! Smart girl! Tell your friends you don't want to hear of him/about him any longer. Time to move on. Focus on yourself in college and meeting a truly great guy.
...............................
A
male
reader, fzald +, writes (29 December 2012):
No matter who does the breaking up, a breakup is always hard on both people. Sometimes the degree to how hard it is differs, but it's always hard.
You're feeling this way because you gave him so much, you tried so hard, and you couldn't make it work out. You seem to know that it wasn't really your fault, that his issues are his and he needs to deal with them, but you still feel responsible because whenever we dump someone because they're hurting us, we always wonder if there's more we could have done, and we feel like we "gave up".
Also, even though you dumped him, you still want your relationship to have meant something. It's perfectly normal. By him flirting with and going out with other girls, you feel that to him you had no value, and hence the relationship had no value. You feel that you put so much of you into something that ended up having no meaning.
If you're starting school in a week, that's great - it'll give you something to help keep your mind more focused on yourself and your own achievements. You will miss him - it happens to everyone. Don't feel bad about it, don't feel that there's anything wrong with you, it's perfectly normal. Just give it some time and surround yourself with positive things - school, friends, whatever - and eventually you'll feel fine.
One point, it's probably not fair to say "all potheads have no feelings." We tend to see drug addicts as people who choose to be idiots. In reality, a lot of druggies are troubled, pained people who use drugs as an escape from what they perceive is a horrible, useless life. You don't have to go back to him, but one thing that may help you move on is to just remember that he's a person like anyone else, he may make terrible choices that break your heart, but he's reacting to his own feelings and emotions in the way he sees fit; he may not even be able to fathom another way to deal with it, and that's not your fault.
Focus on yourself and your friends for a while, and you'll be just fine. Eventually, maybe sooner than you think, that one guy will come into your life and everything will feel right again.
Best of luck!
...............................
|
