A
female
age
30-35,
*keez
writes:Hi guys, I hope someone out there can help me out as I am feeling pretty stuck on this situation.I have met a lovely guy recently who I really feel I can connect with as we seem to get on so well like a house on fire and we share common interests, views and opinions and tbh it feels great to finally meet someone like that. I would love to be able to ask him to meet up one day on our own but for now I am going to leave that as I do not wan't to appear to over keen as it seems in the past to have put many guys off. Plus we have technically only met 3 times. We communicate by text while we don't see each other but again, I keep that now to a minimum as again I've gone through the whole relationship with a talking box and it sucks, I want it different this time.My problem is not about him though, but about another girl. His best friends girlfriend has been hanging out with me, this guy and our mates for a lil bit now. I don't know how long they have known her or hung out but they seem to be on visiting and hanging out mode a lot so I'm assuming they have been doing so for a while.This girl is the first person I have come across that actually makes me feel uncomfortable. She seems to be a lovely person and I don't have anything really bad against her apart from she is just too in your face all the time. She has a very lad like humor, she swears, speaks racist comments, farts, burps and 'jokingly' hits guys in the private area. Its all fun sometimes, but with her its all the time, 24/7 and I honestly don't like it after a while. She is 18 while I am 22, so maybe I'm just acting like an old fart but I really wan't to hang out with this guy I like and do something fun in a group but can't because she ruins it with her mouth. I know I probably sound really horrible but I actually feel really uncomfortable. I got invited to his tonight but when I found out she was going to be there (again) I made an excuse not to go. I feel very overshadowed when shes around. I am a very sociable person, I am friendly and make friends super quickly but when she is there I feel pushed to the back and find it very awkward to fit in with the conversation when I have nothing to say when it comes to how many farts I have done most at once and that's her asking. So what exactly do I do? I know there's probably not much other options apart from ignoring her, but I wish I didn't have to make excuses not to hang with my mates and the guy I like just because of her.Thanksxxx
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (30 December 2012):
 I think you'd be surprised to learn just how noticed you are and what the guys really think of this silly girl.
We've all known women like that and heard how men talk about them when they're not around. Joking or not I don't know ANY man who enjoys being hit in the groin. And if a man wants to hang out with the guys, he will seek out other guys. Not loud, boorish, mannish women.
You don't have to compete with her. Your quieter, more dignified demeanour is a stark contrast to her loud boorishness and people do notice. People will eventually get sick of her and it will start to show and the best part is, you did nothing to provoke it. You won't have to. She'll do it all for you.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (29 December 2012):
 I would just continue to be WHO you are, she is who SHE is. Don't compare yourself to her or think you need to be like her.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (29 December 2012):
 Hi
I think your too mature for all of them to be honest, if they can pass the time competing re farts,burps and hitting each other in the private area and swearing. They sound like Junior School kids not 18-20 odds.Thats not fun its just immature.
I would ask him to meet up someplace,just the two of you,see if he can behave like an adult,get to know him.That doesn't mean boring, it just means finding more than bodily functions and swearing to have a laugh.
As for the girl she probably knows your mature and that the lads like you so draws attention away from you and back to her the only way she knows how.Your the new girl.
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A
female
reader, Warm-Inspire +, writes (29 December 2012):
 I think your options are to ignore her like you said, ask your guy out just the two of you and keep group activity to a minimum, or create events yourself as a small group to avoid communication with this girl.
Since shes part of your circle of friends i think the majority of the time you're going to have to grin and bear it to keep the peace with everyone.
However, if you consider her to be too much of a besetment to stand, you could always tell your friends how you feel, not to completely alienate her but to keep you both separated, your friends may feel the same about her obnoxious behaviour and ask her to tone it down.
Anyway, theres nothing wrong with looking interested, asking this guy to go do something of your common interest during the day isn't over keen and it gives you a chance to get to know eachother without a group of friends around.
Good luck,
x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2012): Have you told your other friends how you feel? Maybe they agree with you, but just haven't said anything because they don't wanna hurt her feelings. You could also just go directly to her, and ask her nicely if she can tone it down a bit. Tell her you don't want to offend her, but certain things make you uncomfortable. Since she's friends with the same people you are, you don't wanna keep making excuses not to hang out, because then you'll lose all of them. For most people, that only works a couple of times before they start to feel blown off.
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A
female
reader, Skeez +, writes (29 December 2012):
Skeez is verified as being by the original poster of the question And just to add she does have a boyfriend but acts as though she doesn't xxx
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