A
male
age
41-50,
*eadEyeDick
writes:I would like to know something, as it's always seemed highly absurd to me, and nonsense, what is the point of being in a Long distance relationship??? I mean, you cant touch the person, right? which means you cant hold them, kiss them, fuck them, there are no friday night movies, or going out to dinner saturday night, you cant be excited to see them, and come home to them everyday, it seems to me all you get is, nausiated wondering who they are fucking, wondering if they will meet someone else, and if they do how are you ever gonna know? I just think in my mind, how much more pointless of a relationship of any sort is there? I cant think of any, anyone who's actually been in one of these relationships, id like your 2 cents, NOT ANYONE WHO'S CURRENTLY IN ONE! thank you.
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male
reader, DeadEyeDick +, writes (25 August 2010):
DeadEyeDick is verified as being by the original poster of the question No Mynxx, thats exactly what I want to hear, all viewpoints, and opinions, I've never been in a LDR, and nothing about it has ever struck a chord in me as far as common sense goes, when I like or love someone, I am truly devoted to that person, I dont even look at another girl the same way, i dont cheat and it's easy, I dont put myself into situations where I am going to even have to be faced with cheating, but as much as ive been in love, when someones not around me for a long amount of time, it seems to fade away, I had a girlfriend go to Bowling Green, we decided to pursue our respective paths, and figured as much as we were attracted to each other, there really was no point in staying together when we were thousand miles away, and wouldnt see each other anytime soon, it was hard on me, and her, but it seemed to fade away, I do love sex, the more the better, and if im committed to someone who im only going to see twice a year, thats just not for me, I wouldnt expect someone to go without sex on my behalf just because I cant be around her, I dont expect them to ask that of me! this is just my outlook on it all, maybe im close minded, or a male pig? I dont know!
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (25 August 2010):
 I'll tell you that I married my LDR boyfriend. We just celebrated our 16th anniversary. It worked because we got to know each other in person and over the phone. We'd spend time together at least once a month and talked every night. I knew his friends because they were my friends too, so I knew his background and character very well before we got together.
I think the LDR actually helped me, in a weird kind of way. I had a tendency to be too clingy, when I really liked a guy. I would suffocate him and obsess and basically be a ridiculous person, and no surprise, *poof* the poor guy would vanish. By being in an LDR, I couldn't cling at all. This was all before things like webcams and skype and facebook.
Again, I have to emphasize that we had spent a lot of time together before we started the LDR dating. We were friends and had seen best/worst of each other at the group beach house we were in for a couple of years.
I trusted him and he trusted me. I know I did not cheat and I feel confident he did not either. Sure, it was frustrating a great deal of the time, but that's what fantasy is for, to tide you through separation time.
I do not understand how people can consider themselves as 'dating' a person they have never met in person, that I do agree doesn't seem like a viable relationship. I think people lock themselves away for a cyberdate and miss out on the real-life opportunities.
I knew my guy really well before we started dating. He and I were both stable, mature adults who knew what we wanted. That's why it worked. It wasn't all peaches and cream, there were rough patches but if you are both working toward the same goal, things can work out very nicely. I wouldn't recommend it as a great dating experience, of course. But I have to say, I feel lucky, and I wake up each morning knowing that I'm with the right man, and I go to bed with the same feeling.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2010): Only once in your life you come across a person and you can never be truly happy without this person.Being with any other person would be compromise.
So you want to be with this person ONLY.But only people won't compromise for primal urges like sex,touching,kissing,etc get involved in an LDR.
Most people can't live without sex and other such stuff.So they don't get involved in an LDR.Most people compromise about a lot of things including love.
If you TRULY love someone then you would be with that person....distance would never be a problem.
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A
male
reader, DeadEyeDick +, writes (25 August 2010):
DeadEyeDick is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo Cerebus, do you not need sex? I mean I'm one of the most even thinking people on the planet, sex is on the exact same level as everything else as far as I'm concerned? but at what point during a LDR do u stumble into a beautiful women by chance, that zaps you with butterflys? and u find out she is feeling the same way for you, do u tell her your sorry, you are commited to someone in Norway who you've never met, and probably will never meet! and that you cannot pursue her?
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (25 August 2010):
 I was reading back on what you said about "stumbling into a beautiful woman" by the way and that kind of thing can still happen WHEN YOU'RE MARRIED! What difference does it make how far away your girlfriend/boyfriend or spouse is?
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A
female
reader, LilPixie  +, writes (25 August 2010):
 I know you said not anyone that is in a LDR but I am...
I just wanted to say that I am with my boyfriend because I love him and he makes me happy, it was just unfortunate that he lives almost 3 hours away (wouldn't usually be that bad but it doesn't help that neither of us can drive). Yeah it does suck that you can't be with that person everyday but personally I think it makes it even more special when you finally are together.
I do have to add though that I will be moving in with him this saturday...
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael +, writes (25 August 2010):
Sex is a primal desire for something physical. I was assuming you'd actually met the person and she had to move away or something. No I'm against meeting people and actually STARTING the relationship as a LDR. You don't NEED sex. You WANT sex, there's a difference and is only important between two people in a relationship. Of course in a LDR there has to be plans to be together in the same place...
If you're talking about starting the LDR as an LDR and having it go on like that for all eternity then of course there's not much of a point for most people.
Take note that I said for MOST people. Some people want that kind of a fantasy. They want to be able to talk to someone and say all the things they would say without ever having to meet that other person on the receiving end. Consider that if such things DO exist, there MUST be some point to be had.
I hope that helps.
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A
male
reader, DeadEyeDick +, writes (25 August 2010):
DeadEyeDick is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo Cerebus, do you not need sex? I mean I'm one of the most even thinking people on the planet, sex is on the exact same level as everything else as far as I'm concerned? but at what point during a LDR do u stumble into a beautiful women by chance, that zaps you with butterflys? and u find out she is feeling the same way for you, do u tell her your sorry, you are commited to someone in Norway who you've never met, and probably will never meet! and that you cannot pursue her?
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A
male
reader, Myau  +, writes (25 August 2010):
 I was always oposed to LDR's. Thought they were just a lie.
Then I met a girl online, she lives in the USA and I live in Australia. And for a month it was nice, we sent letters back and forth and played evony together.
But yes, I went to bed alone and woke up alone, when I needed a hug or kiss however, i missed out. After the month we both realised that what we were doing was nonsense and she ended it.
After that experence my opinion of LDR is exactly the same, they are a big lie and a waiste of time that could have been spent meeting someone here in OZ.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2010): Ldr's are a waste of time. If there is no plan to get together then whats the point. Of course sex with other people goes on,dont fool yourself.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael +, writes (25 August 2010):
The point is to love them. If the physical intimacy is all you're interested in then you don't deserve a relationship at all. The point is that you've found someone you love because they make you happy without having to ever touch you, and you don't want to let them disappear into the large mass of this world. If you don't trust them then don't be in a relationship but does that truly make the want disappear?
I hope that helps.
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