A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating someone, long distance, for about a year though I've been talking to him and we've been good friends for around 5. I met him through another friend.I love him and think he's absolutely amazing, so my entire family and close friends know a lot about him. I'm so proud to be with him I wish I could just shout it out to the world but...He doesn't do the same. He hasn't told his family or even friends that we are together, and he openly admitted this to me. He fears they wouldn't understand or would be too nosy. I think it's a mixture of us being a long distance couple and, though I've not brought this up and can't confirm it, that we are an interracial couple. There are a few interracial couples in my family and the area I live in is so diverse that there is hardly a majority or minority of any race, so it's nothing weird, wrong, or new to us. His family is entirely white, and he lives in a predominantly white area. I'm thinking that maybe he might think they have a problem with that?We have several visits planned and do have a goal of closing the distance if our relationship continues to go well (I say this because I know there are some people who do not understand long distance relationships... YES we are serious about it and YES it does work, I know plenty like us who made it work)... but it just makes me feel bad that he, more or less, seems to hide the fact that he's with me. Do you think that's suspicious? Should I worry, or try to understand? Perhaps it's our personalities? We are both very outgoing, but I'm more emotional and outward where as he admits to not being very emotional at all and is more inward.I just find it very odd and it sort of makes me feel like I'm a little less important to him where as he is very important to me. He's constantly on my mind. Even if my family did have some sort of issue with it, which fortunately they don't, I think I would still make it known despite their disapproval. Thoughts? Thanks in advance for the answers!
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female
reader, cupid lover  +, writes (10 July 2014):
Ask him!! Don't be afraid. I have been in a similar situation a couple of years ago and I wish I had just sat him down and asked him directly what the hell was going on. Ask clear concise questions and work out where you stand.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 July 2014):
 I agree with SVC. That's weird and it's not a good sign.
I could understand him not wanting to tell his parents yet , maybe he knows they would make a fuss or just does not talk about his love life with them... but not telling his friends, in one year ?... he should be bragging about you with them and shouting hs love from the rooftops, almost !
Did he say why he is keeping you so under wraps ?... Did you ASK him ?.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 July 2014):
 If you have been dating a year and his family and friends don't know about it, then while his words may say he's serious you are right to be concerned in my opinion.
I can see not telling family if they are going to be difficult about it and waiting till you have set plans in place to let them know.. but his FRIENDS don't know about you?
are you a SECRET?
it's been a year... what are the plans for closing the distance...at your age, after a year they should be in place... a date should already be looming for one of you to be moving.
if not.. perhaps he's not ready to make this commitment and do something he fears will estrange him from his family?
Have you asked HIM why he keeps you a secret?
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