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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi there, im 18 and my girlfriend is 17 (both over the age of consent in great britain) we have been going out for 3 months and have been seeing eachother on a daily basis for 2 to 3 hours a day after school.we have had sex, lately i have noticed that she no longer wants to sleep with me, i feel unwanted and when i talk to her about it i seem to only put her off more. i want to help her realise how i feel but dont want to seem like " the seedy bloke" type character. i have started questioning myself, is she still as physicaly attracted to me as she was?, what is it that stops this girl who 'loves' me from keeping up the same 'tempo' as before she felt that way. i would never force her to do what she didnt want but i cant feel as unwanted as i am and still be happy with the relationship. Thanks Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2006): Both you guys are probably going to have go through quite a few years, and meet a few more people before you find yourself in a good communicative relationship. I think by the way that you describe your girlfriend and her reaction, it is quite obvious that there is a problem. But, it could be any thing. If you have tried to communicate with her, and she doesn't want to take you up on that offer, then, well, you don't have many options available.
My idea of love, at least, is that if someone loves you, then they will want to talk to you if there is a problem, not distance themselve from you, knowing that it is making you feel worse. Love is a word too easily thrown around these days. Love is how you act and behave to look after, and care for the other person. Is she looking after and caring about you?
A
female
reader, des16  +, writes (23 November 2006):
 have you tried listening to her body language, when you are intimate does she show you what she likes, maybe shes pulling away from the sex.. that maybe she wants romance??
try a few nights apart where you dont see each other for 48hours, give yourselves a break abit of space so that when you meet up again you have something to talk about. or you have missed each other so much that you're back on track.
good luck and i hope it works out for you
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A
female
reader, Sally R. Cinnamon +, writes (23 November 2006):
 It is natural and normal for both men and women to go through times when they do not want sex. There can be many reasons for this. Don't jump to the conclusion that she no longer wants you. That is a hasty reaction and a self-centred one. Stop feeling unwanted. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Instead, be supportive and understanding. Ask her why she doesn't feel sexy anymore, and listen hard to her answer. Is she stressed? Is she worried? Perhaps she's been abused in the past. Perhaps she thinks the relationship has gone too fast too soon. Your girlfriend is young, it is often true that sex is unenjoyable for girls at first. Many, many possible reasons for her current mood!!!! Your aim should be to make sex enjoyable and loving. Good, loving, sexual relationships take a long time to build. If you love your girlfriend, it won't matter how long it takes. Relax, take confidence in her love, and worry about her instead of the lack of sex you are getting.
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