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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi there...I posted nearly 12 months ago... last year xmas time, me and one of my bosses were getting on really well, flirting and everything, we both didnt think it would go any further as he is 13 years older than me and married.Anyhow one thing lead to another at works party and i think we both regretted afterwards. He loves his wife and doesnt stop talking about her. But after a couple of months passed and we got over the initial embarrassment the flirting started again although nothing meterialised.Now its xmas again, i like him and NO flirting has taken place but im worried at the fact that part of me wants it to.If it does what do i do! He's someone who i like and i know its wrong but i really do not know what to do!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (26 December 2006):
 You said this: He loves his wife and doesnt stop talking about her....
And I assume when you say one thing led to another, you mean you had sex?
Errm, NO, he doesnt love his wife as a man who LOVES their wife does NOT have an affair with another woman.
Walk away whilst you can. He has no respect for his wife, you or himself and if he cheats on his wife, then my dear he will only hurt you.
Walk way, NOW. xxx
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (20 December 2006):
 Be a respectful person and mind your own business. Take the high road and keep your pants on. What's the point of all this anyway? If you just want sex, have it with someone else who's not taken.
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A
female
reader, Wisha +, writes (20 December 2006):
 Dont do it, it just isnt fair on his family...really!!!! Would u like it if someone did it to you!!! Fight temptation, i doubt u will listen to this advice but i dnt like cheaters, and people who mess up families!!! Please dont do it! Go out and find urself a great guy...who's single. Merry crimbo, good luck. xx
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (20 December 2006):
 I think part of you is feeling very bored in the festive season and thinking of ways to brighten up things - unfortunately your married boss situation is going nowhere fast...he is married...he cheated...he is your boss...three reasons not to have sex with the guy! You have a lot to lose - credibility in the workplace, career prospects and personal dignity and not much to gain...he sleeps with you then goes home to sleep with his wife...why settle for so little? He shouldn't have let it happen in the first place - as a boss he should have put some thought into the situation with his first brain, not let brain no.2 take over! However, you cannot change him - you can take charge of your own emotions. It is ok to like the guy but he is out of bounds...find someone single with all those traits you like.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2006): And really...you like him so it's okay to screw him? How old are you?
His wife LOVES him and wants to grow old with him and enjoy a day when their Grandchildren are running around them and Happy that Grandma and Grandpa love one another.
Family is EVERYTHING.
Get your own.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2006): Oh dear, what a cliché :)
It is very common for people to end up making mistakes during christmas parties etc.
If you don't want things to happen again with this man you'll simply not allow it to happen.
If that means not drinking, you won't drink. If it means not putting yourself in social situations where he is, then you won't.
So don't act as if you arn't in control of your own actions, because you are. If things do happen then it's because you've wanted them to happen and you must accept any consequences.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2006): Quit your job and find employment eleswhere. Remove temptation.
Why would you honestly believe that being a reason to break up a family and destroy others happiness and security will bring you peace and happiness?
Please say you are not so self involved that you can not put your own selfish needs aside for the sake of others.
Did you come from a home where Dad abandoned you and your Mother for some youngerish woman? How did it make you feel? Did it bring you happiness?
I commend this man for smartening up and not flirting with you. I hope he came clean with his wife and had faced she was going to toss his pathetic ass aside and find a REAL man who can be FAITHFUL and loving...that is what she married and that is what he promised to be.
Better late than never.
Leave him alone. He isn't yours. He's done being stupid so clue in.
Find yourself an available man that will understand what being faithful is.
Merry Christmas.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2006): WALK AWAY! He is married, have you no respect?? This cannot happen and how would you feel if you were the wife sitting at home? Not good. Please, just don't pursue this one. Get yourself a boyfriend.
Take care
xx
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