A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hello all. really need some advise on sex positions for women with body confidance issues. Over the time of our relation ship my fiance has put on abit of wait. Witch i dont mind. In fact she was abit to thin for my taste when we started dating. What my partner doesnt understand is over time and having children bodys change but she is still as pretty today bs she was when we met. But due to confidance issues we only do missionary. And lights always have to be off. So back to the question women what positions do you love witch dont impact your self image to much . Any help would be fantastic
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2011): I told mine to go to the gym. she cried but went anyway and made an improvement
A
female
reader, EnglishRose +, writes (5 December 2011):
hmm, I was actually going to say plain ol' vanilla! i.e: missionary.
These are some cool variations though :D
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/positions/reach-for-the-heavens-sex-position
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/positions/the-soft-rock-sex-position
Don't get put off by the name of the second one; should be very good for your fiance's self esteem
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A
female
reader, bluecow +, writes (5 December 2011):
 HiyaI think before you talk about positions you need to reassure her (constantly at first) how much you find her attractive and how you love her body.Then when your making love - and especially when your pleasing her try whispering how great she looks and how much looking at her turns you on etc etc etc.In other words, enough compliments to send her confidence levels to the moon!As for positions, before you start on a new position try getting the lights on (candlelight is fantastic to start with). If she is uncomfortable about her tummy/boobs then a cute little camisole will hide a multitude of sins. There are some really lovely sheer ones which will hide enough, but still look sexy.If she wants something ultra sexy then a proper corset will give her back the hourglass figure she has always wanted. However remember they need proper fitting, AND unless you get a good one they arent the most comfortable item to be making love in.If its her bum/thighs... then some cute panties - and a stocking/suspender combi really helps to hide the lumps and bumps. Remember if your going to be buying some of these as xmas pressies, then you need to ensure she has enough of a positive body image before you do. Reassure her how much her body turns you on, and how sexy you think the lingerie is going to look on her.Just wanted to add, that I am sooooooo pleased to read a letter from someone so obviously in love with his woman. No matter that her body has changed over the years, you still adore her. One lucky lady xxxx
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 December 2011):
 NONE! flat on my back breasts sag but the face looks good
on top my belly and boobs flop around and my face looks bad with all that saggy skin...
doggy style is fun but my butt sags and then before the reconstruction and mastopexy the boobs would still flop on the bed...
what i did do was wear some great chemise or long tank tops... that helped but it did restrict his access to my breasts....
how about a soft candle lite shower or bath??? with soaping and murmers of how much you love this part or that part... she won't buy it but it might help....
trust me a man worries about the size of his penis, women worry about every other body part, breasts, butts, thighs, bellys...
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 December 2011):
 I don't know much about positions that would help, but I do know that this sort of bad self image can spiral like an OCD. You start with one thing, and then next you need another and another and another. So it goes from sex in one position only, to light off, to next thing she wants sex with clothes on, and after that no sex at all.
Allowing more and more "restrictions" worsens the case. She needs to stop allowing herself to hide away and start working on the real problem, which is her body image. Either therapy or self help. But sitting back and not working on her issues at all, and instead of fighting them allowing them to worsen, is surely going to have you come back on here in 5 more years asking why she wont have sex with you any longer.
A serious talk or a dozen is in order, as well as easing her back to doing more positions, and easing it back to lights being on. Read up about self esteem issues and see if you can find a good approach on how to help her through this, but realize that in the end she needs to be doing the work. No matter what positions you do it with, or how much you accommodate her, unless she addresses her issues they will worsen.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2011): Is it tummy troubles? Breasts? Backside? All the above?
We need to know areas so we can better help. Thanks.
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