| A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: This question is for the women: If you're in the mood, and you have sex but don't have an orgasm, does it satisfy the urge anyway? In other words, if you're in the mood and you have sex, are you more likely to want to have sex again soon if the sex was good and you had one or more orgasms, or are you going to want is sooner if you didn't climax? (This assumes you're in a monogmous relationship)This is almost the same question, but if you are in a relationship where the sex is good, are you more likely to want it frequently than if you're in a relationship where the sex is average or not so good? The reason I ask is because I try very hard to please my wife in bed, and I think I do. I think she orgasms more consistently now than she did before (about 10 years ago when we first met), but she doesn't seem to want it as often for some reason.
View related questions:
in the mood, orgasm Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo  +, writes (21 December 2011):
 I wouldnt be satisfied if i didnt climax and id be less likely to want sex soon if it wasnt good.
Your wife may not want sex as often due to many other factors such as how busy her life is, if it is bothering you then you should talk to her about it. Or why nit try and make her feel special, sex isnt something she should just do because your married, why not have a romantic night for the two of you, dinner candles....
A
female
reader, pancakes rule  +, writes (20 December 2011):
 I haven't actually ever orgasmed with someone, but it doesn't bother me. I still enjoy sex, I like it when he is satisfied and I like the closeness. How I feel about the guy is much more important to me than wanting to have an orgasm.
As for good and bad sex it depends on the mood. For example, I had sex the other day mostly because I knew the guy needed to burn off some steam and it was all about him without much foreplay- all of which was just for him. I still liked it because I like him, but it wasn't exactly the greatest. We've had really good sex when we both spend a lot of time on foreplay and do stuff for one another, or when he takes charge and just makes me feel really wanted.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2011): For me, the whole point of having sex is to reach an orgasm. So, no I wouldn't be satisfied without climaxing.
...............................
A
female
reader, bluecow +, writes (20 December 2011):
 Hiya
I still very much enjoy sex without an orgasm, for me its not an essential part of lovemaking. Its wonderful if it happen, but if it doesnt I still enjoy the act.
I would also say that whether I orgasm or not has nothing significant to do with my sex drive. The things that effect my sex drive are - children, stress, work, situation, time of the month, illness, situation, visitors, mood of partner etc.
If your concerned about your wifes sex drive, then you need to look further away than the bedroom door. Is she struggling with some sort of work/home/personal/financial stress? Do you have young children?, is she exhausted?, has her body changed and she is more self concious?.... I cant list all the possibilities here but you get the idea.
Could it be that you have changed or become stressed?
Another reason for lack of sex drive, is that people can become so comfortable with each other that they stop making an effort. Perhaps its time to spice things up.
Try going on dates again, like you did when you first met. Getting dressed up, going somewhere nice, seducing one another and making each other feel VERY VERY wanted (not just in a sexual way), book a hotel if you can, or romanticise the bedroom with new covers and some rose petals and candles.
To make things more interesting in the bedroom why not... buy your wife some gorgeous lingerie (that doesnt mean peephole bras and crochless panties - unless she is into them!), get some new vibrating friends, and generally lavish her with all the attention.
As the prev poster says sometimes a woman just wants to be ravished. Feeling so wanted where a man just cant keep his hands off her is an amazing compliment and ego boost. Try it!
Hope that helps x
...............................
A
female
reader, aliyahnangelo  +, writes (20 December 2011):
 This depends. If I am in the mood for sex, I would like an orgasm. The sex can be good without one, but it isn't fully satisfying without one. For some women,getting a guy off is what satisfies them. But most women would appreciate an orgasm, considering that most men are not up to par in that area. It is also a known fact that if a woman achieves an orgasm with her significant other then she will put up with a little more crap from a guy also. Don't get any ideas though, j/k:) don't feel upset if your woman doesn't want to have sex as often as she used to. It doesn't mean that you don't excite her anymore. Sometimes after a while women don't have the time or the energy to have sex all the time anymore, especially if there are children involved ( I don't know if you have kids, but i thought I'd throw that one out there in case that you did)You can try to sweep her off her feet more, like you probably tried to do when you two first met also. Even though us women don't show it at times, sometimes we are just waiting to be pounced on and ravished. Try it with your woman. I bet it will work. Good luck! :)
...............................
|
