A
male
age
36-40,
*nthonynj
writes:The problem with me is that I have absolutely no confidence in me! I'm short and lean (5'11 and 58kg), ugly, talks tech 24 hours, jobless (thanks 2 the sharemarkets!) I just cant think I'm good! And those^^ feelings comes in my way when I try 2 have a conversation with a girl!I had only one girl friend (not girlfriend!) in my life and I was made 2 stop communicatin with her by her parents abt an year ago! I'm ok with it but ma mom is pushin me 2 find a girl and start a (new)life. But I just can't do that! I don't have the confidence, damn!Btw, some time back, I had 2 sit in a car with a cute girl coz of a huge storm.I tlked with her and i felt she kinda liked me!But i made a mistake by talkin tech(she didnt like it but i just wont stop!) and finally she had enough(i think!) and l8r wen i tried 2 chat her on gtalk but she refused!I dont know what 2 do!!!! PS: Does girls like skinny, tech lovin, 'metal headed' gamers???coz thats wat I'm!
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male
reader, anthonynj +, writes (26 February 2009):
anthonynj is verified as being by the original poster of the question BTW,there is another 'issue' i'm facing!There is this girl in our church who is sort of 'stalking' me!She stares and giggles @me all the time,but i just ignores her coz she is just ~16 yrs of age!I'm concerned that if this start into an affair,it might affect her studies!And an another girl of similar age who used 2 smile @me wen ever v meet! She's a good friend of ma cousin and she(ma cousin) told me that the 'smiling girl' used 2 tell her that i luk nice! My question is that why only teenagers seem to like me?Why not girls of ma age? I'm very confused!
A
male
reader, anthonynj +, writes (25 February 2009):
anthonynj is verified as being by the original poster of the questionEd:i get u!Confidence and self-esteem is a must FOR succes,but i lack the latter the most!I think i should consult a councellor,right? The next time i wud (try to)avoid tech jargon but i dont know y girls dnt lke it???And 'system requirements' are rather modest! But i dont like overweight girls !!StudentOfLife:lol,i wanna do that,but i just cant!I hav a lot crazy things in ma mind but u know wat,i just cant do it!Its like someone pulling u from behind!BTW,i saw a film ystrday,in it a guy used these 'things'-"Relate yourself to her", "Parallel her values","Never congratulate her" !!!!Wat abt that???PS:Is there any gamers out here ?Just want 2 know their 'plight'!!!
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A
male
reader, anthonynj +, writes (25 February 2009):
anthonynj is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNice 2 know ther r girls who like gamers ! ^__^ But the problem with me is to take that 'First Step',the 'confrontation'!I'm a bit 2 shy!!!!!Regardin ma mommy, she dont want me sitting at ma pc playin CS:Source!She want me 2 go out and hangout wit ma friends!.She thinks that a girlfriend can make me a 'normal' guy!BTW,there is a strange thing happenin wit me!.I used 2 get a lot of giggles and a lot of "u luk real cool" remarks from teenagers but nothin 'clicks' with girls of ma age!Wat could b the reason?
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A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (25 February 2009):
 There's no such thing as a victory with no struggles. Go out there and mess everything up with as much girl as you can.
Once you'll figure out all the ways to do it wrong, you'll find ways to do it right.
Action conquers fear every time. Only doing is learning.
No guy was born a ladies man, it's a skill that can be learn. When you look at a guy and you say "It seems to be natural to him" it's just something that he practiced until it became an habit.
Some guys test thousands of jokes and uses them over and over again with different girls. Why change if it works?
Go mess up to find the thing that works and use them.
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A
male
reader, Ed1337  +, writes (25 February 2009):
 You need to like yourself and who you are before anyone else will be interested. If you think your ugly and boring, it will affect the way you act around anyone you find attractive.
Being skinny isn't a problem, a lot of ladies prefer skinny guys, you just have to dress smart, smell nice and keep yourself tidy. Leave the tech talk for when your with your mates, it will probably send most women into a coma. Instead talk about what they like doing with their spare time, what hobbies they have etc. Try and spend less time playing computer games, instead you could workout down the gym or join a club.
Are your standards too high as well? don't just fall for cute girls who have a perfect body, some of the nicest girls I know would describe themselves as being average looking, or slightly overweight.
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A
female
reader, Mymy  +, writes (25 February 2009):
 My boyfriend is skinny and a hardcore gamer, and I love him for it! All girls are different, though I must admit I can't think of many who would be interested in hearing about tech talk, even if it is very important to you. If you're talking to her girl, ask her about HER interests before you move onto yourself, and even then don't get carried away. Have you considered internet dating at all? It can help give you a self-esteem boost and you can meet lots of nice women there.
More importantly though, don't let your mother pressure you. Obviously, you are close to her but if you are deliberately seeking out for a long term partner it can be a bit off putting. Sometimes things just turn up when you aren't even looking!
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