A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Been going out with this girl for a few months now. Everything was great for the first few weeks, but college has kinda taken over our lives. It has become harder and harder to see each other, so I text her once a day just to check in. Sometimes, when I don't get a text back, I feel confused. Communicating seems to be our biggest issue. She doesn't like talking on the phone and will sometimes text me after I try calling her in order to avoid a phone conversation. When we see each other, everything seems fine, and I usually forget all my sorrows from the lack of communication. It has gotten to a point, though, where I am afraid of texting her or calling her because I am not sure if she will reply, as she frequently does not, and what it means if she does not. When we see each other now, I feel awkward and we speak very little. Most recently, she has stopped responding to me when I text her "good night." For me this text has always meant a lot, as it has been an ongoing text from even before we started dating. I have talked to her once about the problem of communication. She agreed to try harder to respond to me, claiming she is bad with her phone. Things got better for a day or two, but now it is back to the way it was.I know from personal experience, at least when she is around me, that she is quite good at responding to and answering phone calls from other friends. I don't know how to approach her on this problem again, as I feel silly. I am a nice guy, but I have never felt this weak before. Am I over-reacting or is there some cause for concern?
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female
reader, superhoopschick +, writes (29 October 2007):
 There are things with long distance relationships like yours. I know how that can be. Me and my boyfriend went from hangout every single day and always txting and calling each other. But then one of us had to go to college and the other stayed behind continue-ing with the same schedule. Heres the thing..the college that was choosen was very very hard and a person can wake up and start day at 8am and keep doing school work til 9pm. Never getting a huge time to relax and do whatever they want. Its either hw, tutoring, and doing school events. There is little time. So the only time durring the whole day might be a night time call or a text. And sometimes if you wrote them, they maybe so tired that they forget and will write you the next day. Going to a tough college will get a person a better job although it is tougher, whereas going to a junior college or state would be easier. A relationship takes patience. Also if you talk after being away..fights can break out until you see each other agian causing harm or worry.
I use to think mine would cheat when he nevered did. So the person on the other end that has free time and always think. Just try to keep busy or go to the gym or chill with friends. Then just keep texting or trying to call. if she never responds atleast a day after then she might be cheating.
but if your a person that wants to hear your person you really like everyday...ask when are you free so we can talk. Then make her keep to the time. This way you both make time to really talk and share with each other.
A
male
reader, JustaGuy  +, writes (29 October 2007):
Hi,
You need to sit down and talk with her face to face.
There is no point in skirting round the issue, you should'nt feel stupid about it - confront the issue,its sillier to carry on pretending its ok when it obviously bothers you! When you are alone next be polite and respectful and ask her to be honest with where you stand.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2007): Sorry.I forgot to give you my e-mail[REMOVED](Mod Note: emails and personal web sites are removed from all posts. If you want the person to contact you, create an account here and use the internal email system.)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2007): Hi. I feel for you, honestly i do.
Im in a similar situation, apart from my girl dont even have a phone, so convosation outside school is 0.
I know how weak you feel and how helpless you feel.
I WISH there was a magic word you could say to get rid of it all, but truth is, there isn't.
Your gunna have to talk to her about it again, but make sure she knows that its affecting you this much.
If i give you my e-mail, maybe i can help you through?
Only if its cool with you.
When you feel like this, its good to have someone you can turn to.
And it usually helps if its someone you dont know.
like me =D
Hope everything goes alrite!
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