A
male
age
30-35,
*obro
writes:Referring to the questionhttp://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-can-i-say-or-do-that-isnt.htmlWell since I posted that a couple of things. We have spent more time together and agree to meet at some point. One day as we were saying bye she was saying how she would like to spend more time with me. Also, I had asked her to join me for lunch sometime, and she referenced that saying more than once that "we should go out for lunch sometime." The way she repeated it and the wording as well as how she said we should spend more time together took me aback. I know it could have been meant perfectly innocently, but it still felt quite "whoa, what did she just say?!". We finally did go for lunch which was nice, especially as she agreed to make time for me even when she had a busy day when we did.Then at one point she did suggest going to the cinema at one point...again could be perfectly innocent. But I dunno.We definitely are starting to have better conversations, and she is very occasionally making better eye contact.I'm still not sure how I feel about her. I know that I really like her, but not sure if I do in what way.And there is the thing that I am almost convinced anyone could never like me in that way due to my being overweight. PLEASE NO WEIGHT LOSS COMMENTS AND SUGGESTIONS - I am working on that myself.No particular question. Just thoughts please and general advice.
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female
reader, salvadda  +, writes (4 March 2009):
 I read ur letter and will try my best to give an honest opinion with great respect to ur request. I do want to say something to u that I know ur need to hear. I am not thin person myself..*s* I know where ur coming from when ur stated that u r convinced that no one could ever like u because of ur weight. That is something u have to work on, but not thro weight loss. This will make probs. for u in trusting this girl and her motives. I do believe by what u wrote that she is interested in u in an honest way. The prob the way I see it is u not accepting it or believing it. Any relationship will involve taking chances no matter what size we are. I understand for young ppl such as urself this is very hard to understand and except with all the media always portraying sexy thin...as in. Trust if this girl is taking her time to be with u and also asking u to be with her I'm sure she means it. You can go slow, and take care of your emotions of fear that is ok. Seriously the only way u will know how she really feels for u is to invest ur time..this goes for everyone. She might want to be a friend, she might want more. Without *researching* this u will never know. Let it all take it's course. I am sure u r intelligent enough to come to ur own conclution. The thing I want to share with u the most is don't be hard on urself. You have more to offer than u may think. I don't like to add personal things about myself in here, but I will for u. I have a hubby who sees me for me..from the *inside* I am sure there r many ppl such as him, and she might be one of them. I don't consider myself a bad looking person, and nor should u. When ppl get together...marry, live together or date for a long time, one thing u can be sure of is that looks fade. We get older, wringgled, loose teeth, get bald, etc. Remember the most important thing of all is the heart and soul. I know it sounds so lame, but really it does come down to this. I believe u have a good heart to want to try to sort things out. I also believe u should give this girl a change and not throw urself into anything, or wear ur heart on ur selve. Try not to worry about how u look, because it will make u blind to what might be infront of you. I know this is very hard to do, but it comes from a person like urself......I only wish good things for you.
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