A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hello,I met a nice man on a dating site he first sent me a request to chat through the site since i was not a member i gave him my personal e-mail to write to me he sent me an e-mail asking if i would agree to know himI sent him an e-mail saying yes but got no reply because he was off line for 13 days so i became a member and sent him an e-mail through the site at last he went on line and he saw my e-mail which i sent through the site. HE sent me an e-mail saying that he would LOVE TO CHAT WITH ME. and he told me that he had contacted me through my personal e-mail and he gave me his personal e-mail to chat with him on lineI read this the following day and luckily he was on line again he sent me a request to chat we chatted and i told that i sent him e-mails via his personal e-mail he told me that he did not see them and that he really doesnt like opening his e-mail box because he gets a lot of scams so does not like going through them but he told me that he will check so we finished to chat then he told me that he will send me an e-mail. so we kept on sending each other e-mails he told me that he works too much so he has little spare time. my problem is that we just started knowing each other for a week but he is very busy like we can take days without talking because of his work, actually his work is seasonal so in spring it is really much he actually works in agriculture. so should i wait for him to be free i really like him
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2007): I totally agree with Idon'tlie, dear and I have to add: Hun, why would you 'wait around for a guy' when you haven't even met him, yet? And if he's got a good head on his shoulders and respects women and knows this is not about "control and entitlement', he wouldn't ask you to wait. He would understand that dating is a selection process and all of us choose people wisely who would be good for our future. If he's been on a dating site, I can assure you, he's emailing other potential women, as well. And this is what you should be doing-getting to know other potentials. Do not--I repeat, do not-put all your eggs in one basket. Right now, you are chatting and simply e-mailing. It's just an online relationship and these relationships are fickle...all they do is 'open the door and introduce you to a 'potential'. You always leave other options open. You will never know the true person until you go into his world, meet him face to face, talk to people who know him and get a feel for 'who he truly is!' and this takes, time, efforts and a great deal of hard work on the part of both people. So as of right now...you and he are simply "online friends'. Get to know other people, too. I have to say, woman are famous for giving up everything for ONE guy they like. Men never do this. It should never be this way until she is absolutely sure he is 'the one'. And that takes a long time...go slow and build the friendship first and for goodness sake..get out have fun and date others. Abstain from anything sexual until you know someone very, very well. And if he asks if you are in contact with other men, be confident and tell him the truth. If you aren't, say "no, not right now" and if you are emailing other guys, online be self-assured and say "why, yes I am.' Simple, straight to the point and honest. He do one of two things, he'll either get pouty, want you all to himself and bail because he can't take competition which is your 'right to do so' or...he'll try to get to know you further and think "I better get my butt in gear and show this woman, I want to know her better". You'll be amazed at how those e-mails will be coming at you, on a daily basis. My whole point, don't wait around. It makes you look needy and desperate. Let him know you have a life, whether he chooses to be in it or not. Just my thoughts, agree or disagree. But that is what I would do. Good luck, dear and have a blast!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2007): I say just keep him as a friend, not a lover. You shouldn't have to sit around waiting for a simple response of "Hello, How are you?" Move on I'm sure you can find someone who wouldn't mind making time to get to know you.
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reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (17 March 2007):
 No I definitely wouldnt recommend you to sit around and wait for this guy. Neither am I suggesting for you to completely move on. What Im saying is to take things as it comes.
Be aware that when you meet someone off a dating site, chances are, he will be messaging loads of other possible candidates as well. You have to come to terms with the fact that you're not the only one he's talking to or showing interest to. Having said that, this shouldnt be happening if the both of you are already together, but in this case, you both arent.
Just continue talking to him whenever he replies (never pressure him to reply), have that mild flirt but at the same time, bear in mind that you have other options, just like he does. When things get slightly more personal after some time, maybe the both of you could meet up and take it from there. But in the meantine, its just very initial stages and I dont think should you put your entire heart and soul into this, especially dont wear your heart out on your sleeve!!
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