| A
male
,
*
writes: Hello I've recently broken up with my first ever love. I'm still deeply in love with her but she has lied and kept things from me throughout our relationship. Even today she still lies to me. Unfortunately I still have deep feelings for her, but I'm fully aware that I have to move on. As this was my first relationship I'm finding it incredibly hard to move on, and I have exams coming up which I have to pass or I'll be kicked out of university. My friends think I should start dating other girls, but I'm kind of shy when it comes to talking to absolute strangers and I don't know any girls as friends that might be interested in me. What should I do to get over her, and what would be good ways of approaching girls, and creating something out of thin air? Thank You! for reading this.
View related questions:
move on, shy, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Gordon +, writes (26 August 2005):
If you still have feelings for her then there's no way you should see anybody else. I've recently split up with my girlfriend and I can't even imagine myself out on a date with anybody else. I still love my girlfriend to pieces.
You should only start going out with girls again when you are totally over your ex. It isn't fair on the girls you start seeing if you still want to be with your ex. Plus, it'll only help you in the short term. It won't make you feel any better.
The best thing you can do (and I know it's hard) is to just forget about girls for the time being. Focus on making yourself happy. Hang out with friends, etc. You don't need a girlfriend to be happy, you can be happy on your own.
If you honestly think you can start going out with girls now, then your feelings for your ex aren't as strong as you make out. It's just hard for you to let go.
When the time is right, go out with your friends and be happy. Don't worry about girls. The right ones just come alone.
A
male
reader, Gordon +, writes (26 August 2005):
If you still have feelings for her then there's no way you should see anybody else. I've recently split up with my girlfriend and I can't even imagine myself out on a date with anybody else. I still love my girlfriend to pieces.
You should only start going out with girls again when you are totally over your ex. It isn't fair on the girls you start seeing if you still want to be with your ex. Plus, it'll only help you in the short term. It won't make you feel any better.
The best thing you can do (and I know it's hard) is to just forget about girls for the time being. Focus on making yourself happy. Hang out with friends, etc. You don't need a girlfriend to be happy, you can be happy on your own.
If you honestly think you can start going out with girls now, then your feelings for your ex aren't as strong as you make out. It's just hard for you to let go.
When the time is right, go out with your friends and be happy. Don't worry about girls. The right ones just come alone.
...............................
A
female
reader, charliesgirl +, writes (19 August 2005):
A relationship breaking up is tough to cope with at any time. Growing to accept that a preson you cherished and the future you envisioned with them is a painful, but necessary process.
In my experience, that break up of your first relationship is always the most memorable, and possibly the most painful. You are emotionally unprepared for the intensity of feelings that flood you when you have to leave a person that you have cared for and loved deeply .It is a huge shock to the system, and can be overwhelmingly sad and confusing.
In the past I have found that the experience of breaking up has given me a greater, previously unrecognised motivation and determination to suceed even more. From this break up you can draw strength. It's as though you want to prove to that other person, and to yourself that you CAN be successful and happy without them. Draw on this energy to focus upon your exams. Imagine telling your ex how well you've done. Keep these positive thoughts flowing and this will help you to focus. Your exams and your future take priority now, don't allow the memory of your ex to ruin your future for you.
As far as dating goes, you don't have necessarily replace one relationship with another straightaway. This is a common "rebound" response after a relationship has ended, but it does not offer a long term solution. Does your University have a student union? After your exams you could consider taking a part-time bar job which is an ideal way to meet new people in a relaxed atmosphere. Look at voluntary work and social groups advertised around the university. A healthy and active social life will improve your confidence and self esteem, which in turn will make yourself more attractive to girls, and give you the confidence to lead a single, fulfilling life until the right girl comes along.
Good luck in your exams and take care
...............................
|
