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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have an important question about my ex-fiance's behavior. We were dating for almost 3 years and recently broke up about 2 months ago. Now he wants to date me again. The only thing is, one of the big reasons why we broke up is his insecurity with me talking to other guys. One of them is a co-worker that works in a completely different office than I work. He and I have e-mailed each other off and on since I started working. It was all platonic even though the guy had a girlfriend, he still would send me e-mails saying I was gorgeous, hot, etc. I told my boyfriend and he got so upset and demanded the e-mails. I sent them to him and he and I almost broke up over it. Well the long and the short of it is, while we were broken up me and my co-worker started to chat again. Like I said, strictly friends. We've only seen each other across the room at the office he works at maybe twice. That's all the visual contact we've had, which is practically none. Well since me and my boyfriend are considering getting back together I'm so scared if he finds out I started talking to my coworker again, he will decide not to go out with me. What should I do? Tell my co-worker I can't talk to him again, to salvage what's left of me and my ex's relationship? Please help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2005): When is comes to male-female friendships one has to clearly define it. The term friend covers a broad range of relationships but my definition of friendship: a platonic love characterized by, having an equal regard for each other but...with a respectful distance.
When sexual tensions,innuendo & flirtations creep into a friendship, then that is going waaayy over the boundries of a what I term as a platonic friendship. Your male co-worker is not looking at you as a friend..he has major hots for you so you have to be honest with yourself, this is getting out of hand. He really is disrespecting you and your bf's relationship. Your bf is peeved about that. Plus your bf has understandable fears and insecurites about this male friend-because he knows "only too well" how men really think! Ditch the co-worker friend. It may be fun to "harmlessly' flirt with a guy but it's just dead wrong and it will destroy your love relationship with your bf.
In the future, if you make a male friend..make sure he becomes a friend to BOTH you and your bf. To ease your Bf's fears, always get him involved in your friendships. You got to have trust, girl and if you really love your bf, yes you will tell the co-worker what it's doing to your love relationship and end this friendship. At work..keep it all business. Take care
Hugs,
Irish
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