A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have just found out that my boyfriend of 10 months has been collecting naked pictures from girls off his facebook the whole time we have been together.He says he doesn't understand why he did it and he has promised me to stop. He has deleted all 98% of the people I am aware about but has kept 1 or 2 that he thinks I don't know about.Help.....I do love him and would have never thought he would do this behind my back. Can I trust him anymore and how do I know it is still not going on with another outlet (i.e. e-mails)
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 May 2011):
 I second DB. "I don't know why I did it " it's total bullshit. He does it because he likes it, clear and simple.
And no, you can't trust him again. Now you'll never be sure if he stopped or just got better at hiding it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2011): Human sexuality is a complex thing. I think that if my husband were collecting nude pictures off of the internet, I wouldn't be pissed... because honestly, who doesn't look at porn.
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A
female
reader, Jen1689  +, writes (3 May 2011):
 Definitely dealt with this before...My ex used to create fake profiles on MySpace pretending to be a "lesbian" so that he could chat with other "lesbians". We were in long-distance, and strangely enough, at the time I did not think it was odd or offensive. He deleted these profiles numbers of times claiming that he felt it was rude and disrespectful to me, but then he would go back and recreate them.I finally moved in with him after being in long-distance for nine months. When I began living with him, I saw how much of the MySpace crap took over his life. I asked him to please delete the fake profiles and not to make another one because I felt disrespected and slightly offended. He agreed. I came home one day to find my laptop sitting open with the browser history cleared. I just kept hitting "Back" through all of the pages of his new fake profile and the new fake e-mail account to go along with it. He had been taking photos from the personal ads on Craigslist and was sending them to girls on MySpace in return for nude photos of themselves. It was disgusting! When he got home, I confronted him about it and he broke down sobbing. He then continued to delete the fake MySpace account and his personal one as well. When I asked him why he did it, he said it was because he had no life and was addicted. From that day forward, he continued to chat with other girls he had met on the internet. He created another personal MySpace account, as well as Facebook.The moral of the story is: if a guy is willing to betray your trust with that kind of thing once and not give you a reasonable explanation, he'll most likely do it again. But to answer your question: No, you won't be able to trust him again. At least not like you used to. You did trust him until he gave you a reason not to, so you have every right not to. Don't give in and trust him again completely. If you don't feel you can let this issue go, I'd suggest just ending things. I certainly did with my ex.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (2 May 2011):
 Honestly, the "I don't know why I do it" thing is complete bullshit. You know it, and that's why you can't trust him. He does it because he can, the girls are willing, and he gets off on it. It's that simple.
How can you trust him again? That will be hard, and honestly probably isn't worth your time. He won't stop this behavior, he will just get better at hiding it.
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