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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: One of my closest friends is falling for me. We’ve known each other for 2 years now and she has been with the same guy for 6 years, half of which was a LDR. I know her boyfriend well and he has no passion and no drive what so ever. He just stays indoors in his safe zone and doesn’t do anything except play computer games. They haven’t even had sex because neither of them really wanted to do it with each other (we talk about everything). It’s always been rocky between them both and I’ve been there trying to help them get their relationship working since I met them. However, the bf is never interested in listening. When she cries he doesn’t go to comfort her, just leaves her there to cry it out. I’ve suspected for a while now that she’s falling for me and I tried to give her hints like, “you’re an awesome FRIEND” to stop her thinking of me in that way. The other day though she confirmed what I thought, she told me about her feelings towards me. She loves me but still doesn’t want to hurt her bf. I am a very moral person (try to be anyway) and would never interfere in another relationship, so I wanted to help them. However, now I find myself thinking “what if?” I do find her attractive and I do love and care about her, but I don’t know if I can be ‘in love’ with her, there’s so many differences between us. Would it be fair to her if I knew I felt this way about her? I don’t want to hurt her in anyway.Even if we got together and she broke up with her current bf, I would feel guilty for contributing emotional pain to him. (Just want to point out that I will not go behind his back and start a secret relationship). She has said about breaking up with him a few times before to his face and all he had to say was “you’re bluffing, and I wouldn’t chase you if you did”. If she does leave him, I think he would only have himself to blame. With all what’s going on, I’m still trying to get over my feelings that I have for someone else close to me. I told her how I felt but my love was unrequited, I was completely in love with her, and that love is still there. The friendship we share is still intact and she’s waiting for me to return from our ‘break’ so we can continue the friendship.Anyways, I would appreciate the thoughts of others on this situation. I have a good chance of a relationship here, but it would come at a price for everyone involved. Thanks for reading.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2011): I think you two need to sit down and talk about it, you both may have something together.
If her boyfriend doesnt really appreciate her then they shouldnt be together. Dont leave her to handle this by herself, this is where she may need you more then ever. especially when she is trying to undestand her feelings for you.
Dont run away from your feeling either, he maybe your friend but so is she and if you think you love her then this is where you step in and be that friend. the other guy doesnt deserve her
let me us know how it went please x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2011): I think you should sit down and talk with her and discuss the feelings she has for you and maybe the feeling you have for.She maybe feeling lonely and as her friend you might be able to help her.Also honesty is better, if you do have feelings for her then something maybe there and you two may have something. whether you know this guy or not happiness is better. if she will be happier if she is with you then may you two are meant to be
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A
male
reader, iLoverachel123  +, writes (3 May 2011):
All I can say is give it time
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