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Just a quick question on premature ejaculation.

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 June 2009) 7 Answers - (Newest, 24 June 2009)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi there

I just wondered has anyone cured their premature ejaculation?

I've been having sex for over 2 years now and cannot last any more than 10 seconds.

Thanks everyone

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A male reader, radron United States +, writes (24 June 2009):

I suffered from PE ever since I started having sex. I could never last more than 30 seconds. It was so embarassing!! So embarassing that I lost my girlfriend and refused to date for a long time for fear of sex!

The good news is 40% of all men suffer from Premature Ejaculation and that it can be cured with the right information. I've tried just about everything to cure my PE, creams,sprays and even pills. None worked and I thought I would NEVER solve this problem.

I got lucky and found a site that taught me how to control my ejaculatory reflex and now I can last 10 minutes in bed! I have MUCH more confidence with women now! Below is a link to the site. Noone had PE more severe than me. It helped me so maybe it can help you to.

http://www.curepremature-ejaculation.net

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009):

Try to think about something not very sexy. That helped me a lot when I was younger - I used to go through multiplication tables and lists of British prime ministers in my head. Taking your focus of the sex itself can help a lot of men. Of course now I'm middle aged, I have the opposite problem in that it takes me ages to get off. Nowadays I have to think really hard about Sam Fox and Kylie showering together (eighties thoughts for an eighties kind of guy).

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009):

What ever you do DO NOT take effexor unless you have a depression problem. Effexor has destroyed my sex life!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2009):

from a guy...

Of course it can be cured if you want it badly enough. It is all psychological and instinctual.

First, know that the average time from penetration to ejaculation is 7 to 13 minutes, but there are wide variations. Sometimes some guys can go much, much longer, over an hour. Although the average time might seem brief to some people, if there is lots of foreplay (I rather prefer the term buildup) the average time is plenty of opportunity for her to orgasm more than once. Most women do not orgasm during penetration unless there is substantial buildup.

Here are a few things known to work. They require the cooperation of your gf which may not be much fun for her but long-term, things will be much better for you both.

Try the simplest and least aggressive treatments first and give them a few times to work. Sometiems cars don't crank on the first try and pens don't write on the first try so don't expect something as complex as sex to work instantly:

1. Work on building her up for a long time before you are even undressed perhaps by talking and playing around. Ignore you for a while; you don't need any more build up.

2. Delay penetration for as long as you reasonably can.

3. When she is ready and it is time for penetration and coitus, you lie on your back with her straddling you sitting up. The goal is not some time limit, the goal is for her to orgasm. Try this a few times and stick to it.

4. If you get to 3 and there is still a problem, use the same protocol but if you have any hint that you might be about to ejaculate, stop everything until the feeling subsides. You must stop before the point of no return or you will sort of half-way ejaculate and nothing will be solved. Like I said, she won't like it and neither will you but you must consider the long term.

5. If 3 and 4 don't work, and this is easier said than done, think about your second favorite subject intensely during sex. Generally the dissonance between the sexual experience and thinking about chess, or football, or whatever is sufficient to psychologically keep you away from the tipping point of no return.

6. If you get through 5 and nothing has worked, there is a treatment you and your female partner can do called the squeeze method. Look it up on the internet but the name is very explanatory.

7. Finally, if you get through 6 with no improvement, then as the other commenter said, go to the doctor and ask for an SSRI antidepressant like Effexor. It will slow things down for you but it probably won't get you from 10 seconds into the normal range. Take too much and you might not be able to have sex at all.

By all means do not have a clock visible during sex. I once had a patient with PE, and he and his wife each had a digital clock on the nightstand next to the bed. So, from the first, the guy was staring unavoidably at two clocks, one on either side of the bed and putting enormous pressure on himself. He had no chance. Turned him over onto his back where he couldn't see the clocks and things began to improve immediately. And, one more time, the goal is not measured in time, the goal is for her to orgasm, hopefully more than once.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (7 June 2009):

Danielepew agony auntPremature ejaculation is a very common problem for nearly every man, all the more so when you're young. We get to control our urges and learn to last longer. One big part of this is wanting to last longer, and experimenting. Maybe you can take a shortcut if you go see a therapist?

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A female reader, kellyxxx United Kingdom +, writes (7 June 2009):

kellyxxx agony auntSee a doctor! Don't be embarrassed! X

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2009):

PE can be cured. You are very young, and it is highly likely the problem will get better with age. But here are a few ideas so you don't have to wait.

Do your best to relax. PE can be due to nervousness and stress. It is better to work on having sex with one partner and feeling calm than multiple partners.

Use a condom that helps with PE. There are special brands. This is not a long term solution, but could help you build confidence.

Learn to recognize the signs and slow down. When you masturbate, stop touching yourself as you sense yourself approaching climax. Let your body calm down. Do this 3 or 4 times and you will begin to get better control over your body. This takes work!

Buy a book. There are some books specifically written for PE. Do a search on Amazon.

Last, see a doctor. Many anti-depressant drugs can also help with PE (like Paxil). I used these for a little bit and they helped. The downside is that for some people (not me) it decreases sex drive.

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