A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing this guy for just over 2 months now, I've been really happy in the relationship, we are happy together and nothing has gone wrong so far, well that's what I thought. We went out to a party the other night and he went to the toilet and I was chatting to my friend (female) he came back and then offered to get us some drinks but as he went to get the drinks another of my old friends (male) came over to join us, he was talking away and we were having a catch up. Then when my boyfriend came back and the whole atmosphere just felt awkward. My boyfriend was in a bad mood and I was there trying to keep the conversation interesting but kept getting really evil looks from my boyfriend. After about 10 minutes my old friend (male) said he had to go speak to someone and my other friend (female) said she was gonna go get herself another drink. It was obvious to them what was going on so they had left. I was so embarrassed at what was happening. Then I asked him what was wrong and he replied "I cant believe you even have to ask" so I asked him again and told him to tell me what had gotten into him and then he suggested that I was flirting with my old friend (male) and said he wanted to go home. So we left and he was still in a mood with me and of course I got angry with him for even suggesting such a thing when he knows there's nothing going on. The next day he was fine with me and apologised for being so protective and jealous and said he didn't know what got into his head. I know my mum always said to me "at the first sign of jealousy, run!" but I don't want us to break up over such a stupid little thing, I know nothing was happening and I know that deep down he must know the same. So what do I do? is my mum right? should I just break it off with him, what if it happens again and he becomes really controlling. I know we've only been going out for just over 2 months but I'd never seen him like this before, he's the type of person who wouldn't have a go at anyone, he's so calm and collected...well that's what I thought before the weekend. Has anyone else had an experience of a jealous boyfriend and what did they do or what happened? did it get worse or was it just a one off thing?
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male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (3 November 2010):
 GREAT JOB!!! Thank you for the follow up.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey thanks for all your replies, were not together anymore. it started to get a bit heated about this whole thing and he got aggressive and it was only 2 months of a relationship so i didnt miss out on much really lol sounds horrible but just wanna find someone who isnt so aggressive.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2010): When i first started dating my bf i had some shocking accounts with his jelousy. It made me think his not the one. But after sitting himdown and having a big "jelousy is ugly" talk he picked his gameup and there is rarely an incident. We are happily together. Your mothers right in a way, but i believe in second chances. Have a talkto him and see if it helps. If it continues tho, you may need to rethink.Goodluck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2010): If he is acting this way over an innocent conversation with an old friend while he was standing right there, then I would worry. It will likely happen again, and it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with his own insecurities. You are young, do you really want to end up having to avoid eye contact or a small convo with a male friend in fear of upsetting him? I have been in a relationship where the guy was jealous, at first I took it as a compliment, but it gets tiring after a while and always trying to justify your innocent actions to someone. My case was a bit extreme, he started with jealousy and it ended with physical and emotional abuse and my self esteem was non existent and I depended on him for years until I finally got out. Again, my situation is more extreme, but it can happen and often starts as jealousy and control. Nothing good comes from jealousy. Almost everyone has a bit of jealousy in them, but at 2 mos he is angry with you over something so innocent and made you leave is a bit ridiculous. It is something he has to change himself, and until he does, you won't have a healthy relationship with this person. I would get out now. Good Luck.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (27 October 2010):
Your mom is exactly right. It will likely get worse. It might even extend to things from your past.
Think about it this way. You were at a party. Presumably there were a lot of people around. You were socializing, which is what you do at a party. He got jealous. Big red flag. He will likely be jealous of any guy he sees you talking too.
Your choice is to try and work through this with him or drop him. With only 2 months invested, I'd walk away, but only after telling him why you were leaving. He needs to know that his irrational jealousy cost him this relationship.
Listen to your mom!
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