A
female
age
36-40,
*ellybeans20009
writes:I recently met this guy. He is a huge deal, because I used to run away from guys who approached me. I never saw myself getting married, never saw myself be with anyone before.But when I met him, there was like this instant rush of images. I could see myself eating lunch with him, taking a walk on the beach with him, and even living with him.It's gotten so bad that I haven't eaten or slept normally for the past week. It's driving me insane. Not knowing how he feels. I also have a serious unattractive health issue that he might not accept either. So this is causing me a lot of stress.But on the other hand, I can't help feeling the way that I feel. I have tried to analyze this rationally and as calmly as I can. But it is what it is and I can't deny it. I'm scared that if I tell him how much I like him, he'll run the other direction. He hasn't even called or made an effort to contact me after our first date. It frustrates me so much! He was the one interested in me first, but I don't know if he lost interest or he just liked the chase.I need sleep. I need to eat. I have to stop this crazy cycle. Suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, jellybeans20009 +, writes (1 August 2009):
jellybeans20009 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioncontinued:
I've actually gone on a few dates with other guys. Some were attractive, some weren't. The guy i'm crazy about is actually pretty similar to this other guy I went on a few dates with. I see very little difference. I just don't know what it is that I like about this one so much.
It really isn't much about his good looks. They're a bonus, but I would've never liked him if he wasn't a genuinely great guy. I have a mental list of all the things I look for in a guy, and he hit every single one. It floored me. Of course I know he has a bad side as all people do. I don't know what this bad side is, but for now he has all the majorly important qualities that I'm looking for. I never thought that a guy like this could exist outside of my imagination.
And to top it all off, he's semi interested in me.
He's bringing out all these girly qualities in myself I never appreciated before. I've learnt so much from this experience of opening up to someone or "falling" for someone. Even if this doesn't work out I feel as if I have changed in a way. I've grown up.
But I need sleep, like I said. lol. thanks for all and future suggestions.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2009): Hey I been through your situation and I'm goin through similar one again...smartest thing to do..from my experience is just keep yourself busy doing chores or some type of activity. He's probably a player player, who's lookin to get into bed with someone and than with someone the night after. I might be wrong..but u need to hold on to your feelings...if u come out too strong, it will push him away...text him once in a blue moon..if he doesn't write back at all than he's not interested...its just a lust, you dont really love him, u just painting the perfect picture..you still need to get to know him...he might not be your type if different situation that life brings our way...he might be supportive type person or might not...you are just attracted to him, you are not in love with him...believe me....give yourself 2 to 3 weeks before you contact him....I know its gonna be definetly hard trying not to contact him i been through there before, but if you do contact him soon, think about what you are gonna say...because i dont think you have anything strong to say to him...you feelings are running all over the place and put them together. analyze this person. Become a friend first with this person...plan some sort of fun gatherring with his friends and your friends... with more than 6 people and get to know each other better in a crowd. So that way you both are not nervous and it doesn't look like a date. go to a bar, club, barbque at a park, go to the beach, go for beers....or wings...take a crowd of people...that's the best way to become friends. But do not contact him for 2 to 3 weeks unless he contacts u first... or he will think u are desperate and might take advantage of you without you even noticing...and when u see him...dont act sad or too excited...cracka joke here and there and keep it at a friend ship level and build on that. Please do not get emotional with him after drinking...i dont care if u only had one beer...do not talk to him about your feelings after drinking...or he will think its just the booze talking and than he might take advantage of a drunk girl...lol..good luck..i hope i helped you in someway...i only meant good for your situation. let me know how it goes.. I wish you all the best and hope you get what you are lookin for. (:
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