A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been split from my ex for 3 years and I'm still madly in lovwith her. When we were together I worked alot sometimes as much as 4 jobs at one time. I done this so I could ensure a good future for her and our 2 kids. When she split with me she told me that it was because I had worked so much and never seen them. This left me feeling that all my hard work had been in vain but I could fully understand how she felt. We have remained the best of friends since our split and I get to spend lts of time with my kids. However she has been seeing another guy for about a year and a half now. He is a long distance lorry driver and visits her once every 2 months. They split recently for 3 months as she had found out that he was trying to start a relationship with someone else.The person he was trying to start the relationship with was not interested in him as he was with my ex so he swiftly broke it off with my ex. She then found out that he went straight to her, the other girl obviously wasn't interested as he came groveling back 2 weeks later. She knows he is sleeping around but she recently got back with him. This in turn has destryed my self worth as I'm now left thinking that he can visit once every 2 months slee around and she'll still provide all her love as were I, who worked myself into the round for her and never as much as looked sideways at another girl wasn't good enough. We were together 5 years and I miss her so much even though I see her almost everyday and I don't know what to do. I have had only 1 brief relationship in the 3 years we've broke up (it lasted 3 weeks) and this is all because the only person I want is her, but I can't understand why she would be that way with him and a completely different way with me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2009): I agree with icelordess as i too was in a situation of a similar thing it took me years to get pass it and i eventualy met someone else and i have never been happier
A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (1 August 2009):
 I also think that the advice fro Icelordess is excellent. I think if she acknowledged what you did for her then you would feel differently. It is as if all your efforts have been in vain and that she has not appreciated your worth. When I was married I paid for absolutely everything and my husband never acknowledged what I did for him. He left me for a woman who had nothing and although I was gutted I would have liked him to have thanked me for all I did but it was never to be.
Sadly at this moment in time your ex is 'in love / lust' with this man and until this phase passes then she is going to put up with anything from him. These phases seem to last for about 6 months of intensity then start to fade as niggles and imperfections start kicking in. If she didn't like you being away from home for 6 weeks then after a while she isn't going to be happy with this man being away for 2 months at a time. You are a nice man and very good with your children and you have understood what she was unhappy about and explained your reasons for doing what you did - ie/ working hard to provide for them so you can do no more. All you can do is watch this scenario play itself out and wait. However be wary of being a shoulder to cry on as you don't want to be used.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks but I'm struggling to work this out and I have been for quite some time. Is this how the rest of my life will be?
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