A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I are 19 and she wants to have a baby with me. I'm not ready and she knows it. We both still live with our parents and can hardly even afford to go to school. I tried talking to her and explaining why it's too soon and she got mad at me and told me to leave her alone and cried and said I was breaking her heart even though I was just trying to make her understand that we're too young. She won't let me talk to her about it. So what am I supposed to do now? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007): what u need 2 do is talk 2 her again and do be careful she could try to just place u in a corner and that will not be good 4 u or her. so if she does not listen u better be careful dude.
A
male
reader, cuninglingwist +, writes (3 September 2007):
This is not about you, not about your future as a couple, not about a baby, its all about her! the baby is all about her need to secure a man, being a stay at home mum, not having to go to work, getting fat!it could have been anyone but you!
but she put all her money on you and lost! now she is pissed.give her a week or two and she will find a baby maker she sounds desperate..
I know its hard to give up steady sex,but you need to get out of this fast, concentrate on a good job and your own place then you can have all you want, maybe find some one thats not so selfish and into herself with some brain cell,s
...............................
A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (3 September 2007):
 You definitely did the right thing. When you're going to have a baby, you've got to have a place for the baby to stay, and food to feed it, and clothes to keep it warm. It sounds like she's not thinking everything through, and there's nothing that you can do about it. She may also be trying to lock you into having a baby to ensure that you won't leave.
Dv1
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2007): If I were you I would tell her that you are not ready for a child and if she can't handle that then goodbye. 19 is way too young to raise a baby! If the two of you are able to get back together be careful. I've heard far too many stories of men oopsied into parenthood. Always use a condom and never let her handle them without your supervision. Otherwise you may end up with holes in them and a child in her. Take care!
...............................
A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (3 September 2007):
She sounds a bit immature to me. Firstly she cant see that having a baby at your age would be really hard, like you said you can barely afford life at the moment. A sign of maturity is being able to make sensible decisions and she thinks having a baby is a good decision, when really it woudlnt be very sensible. Also if she tends to ignore people when she doesnt get her way, thats immature too.If I was you I would take this all as a sign for what the rest of your life with her will be like. Dont accept her ignoring you, its wrong. Problems should be talked about, otherwise things will get worse....Try talking to her again. And re explain why you feel how you do. You have facts and logic on your side, use them to your advantage. Ask her WHY it is so important to her to have kids now? Why would it be SO bad for her to wait?I know some girls like to have kids with guys early on so that way they will always be 'connected' to that guy, it makes it hard for them to break up. Perhaps this is likely with her? Only you can be the judge about that...
...............................
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (3 September 2007):
 Hi
There is nothing you 'can' do about it.
You are the sensible one in this relationship it seems and thankfully one of you are!
You girlfriend thinks having a baby will be brilliant, someone to love and love her back unconditionally. She might have had a bit of a lonely upbringing?
A baby when you're both nowhere near ready is not the answer.
Stick to your guns and be careful!
You know you're doing the right thing, and somewhere deep down she will do too, even if she wont admit it.
Good luck.
C xxxxx
...............................
|
