A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:okay so I am really good friends with this girl. Like, I've known her since grade 5 and I am in grade 12 now. We talk about anything, including A LOT of sexual stuff. She has even taken me lingerie shopping.My question is, how can I get her to go all the way? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2011): Given your age, there is a good chance you are in the Friend Zone. She may be talking to you about sex and taking you lingerie shopping precisely because she has no intention of ever having sex with you. She's known you a long time and she trusts you. You are "safe" to her and so she believes she can be open with her sexuality without the consequences or anxiety. She probably really appreciates this.Later in life, she may take on a gay best friend to fullfill this niche, but it may very well be that you are now functioning as reliable ego booster for her. She is probably not doing this consciously. I say there is a good chance you are stuck in the friend zone because you seem too oppurtunistic about "getting her into the sack" and you may not be as skeptical or analytical as you could be. I would flirt with her a little and see how she reacts. If she doesn't take, I would drop it, and perhaps make yourself unavailable the next time she wants to go shopping for under-garments. If you do really respect her, tell her you like her straight up. She may indeed feel the same way. If you only want to bang her, then it's not worth the risk, you stand to lose a childhood friend and make it awkward every time to meet up with her after the fact.
A
male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (12 January 2011):
 As nice as the three answers below me are, and as much as I agree that you need to repect her but make your move, please be aware that you may have let yourself fall into the Friend Zone and she may shoot you down when you approach her romantically. Go for it, since you can win unless you play, but realize there's a chance that you're just a close friend. (Spoken as a man who's been there.)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2011): Birdynumnums has it exactly right.
Unless you love her and respect her and have honorable intentions, you don't get to "get her to go all the way" with good end results.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2011): Either she is already wanting to get you into the sack right now, or else you are so deep into the Friend Zone that it's never gonna happen.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (12 January 2011):
 I certainly hope that includes "I love her" and "I respect her" somewhere in that equation. It looks like she is trying to GET you to be a bit more aggressive and prove your love. Don't go there if your intentions aren't honorable, however. It sounds like she has also liked you for a long time and has waited for YOU to make the first move - as in - LOVE - not just a make out session. Make sure you are ready for this, because you will lose her as a friend if all you want is sex.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2011): I think you should just tell her about your feelings for her. Communication is the key.
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