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female
,
anonymous
writes: i have been dating this guy for 9 months, though a long distance relationship he is the best thing that has ever happened to me..he is just soo caring and sweet to me, we have talked about our past, he is a virgin where i am not, i have had sex with last two bfs of mine and even had a threesome with my recent ex who has hurt me so damn bad, i told im about this and though he says he doesnt judge me and still loves me so much sometimes i can feel that he gets sad about it all, i regret for my past choices myself and i want to go for hymenoplasty and i want him to be my first on our honeymoon, how do i tell him not to think of me as a bad person and that it just happened and i am so guolty that i cant even talk about it
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2007): OK, I was in a long distance relationship with a women, she had a rather long sexual history and I was virgin. I think it's ok to be open about it, but from my point of view, don't talk about it. If you like him, make him feel special. With this girl, she'd tell me about how horrible this guy she used to live with was, then just mention things about having sex with him, and and the message to me (I know this is self-centered, and maybe not logical, but this is is) was like her saying "this guy was scum, but I just fucked him all the time, but I haven't had sex with you, therefore I prefer some guy from the past who I hate, over you who do...[I did a lot] for me."
so don't focus on the past, focus on him, make him feel special, and when/if you're with him, make it about him, not ppl from the past.
A
female
reader, pica +, writes (29 November 2006):
Sorry but he will never be your first even if you do attempt to get "re-virginised".
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2006): We all have a past, some of us more than others. We all have had boyfriends and tried different types of sex. If he says he doesn't judge then that is good. If he gets sad about it then that is up to him to get over it. Honesty is the best policy and if you have told him in all good then he should deal with it as best he can. I know it isn't for everyone, but i wouldn't tell him anymore stuff, keep some of it in your head, its in the past, really some men don't need to know everything. It can do their heads in.
Try and reassure him that he is the one, the past has gone and you are his alone.
Take care
xx
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