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female
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anonymous
writes: my new guy friends at the uni often tease me, they call me a whore and slut. i dont know why, they dont know me much its only our first yr. the only reasons i can think of is because i voice my opinions and am vocal about sexual stuff, i dress in revealing clothes although i got small boobs, they also tease me about that. and when im with my bf he always touches me puts his arm around me, stuff i think is normal but they're too conservative. they often tease me that i want threesomes, sex etc its degrading cuz its not even true and people that hear them might believe them. ive done sex, blowjob, everything with my bf although im only 17, they dont know that, but they always call me a whore, its only a joke but it bothers me. most of them are guys sometimes they say they wont ever love me because im a whore and its not true! these guys are pretty conservative. worst part is theyre my friends, they even stood up for me 1 tym when my bf almost hit me. it really hurts me when they tease me that, i dont know what to say or do. i get very low self esteem because of that so i just stick to my bf who really makes me feel wanted, although we sometimes i question his love for me.
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female
reader, pica +, writes (29 November 2006):
Some good advice below.. also struck me that these guys will be having problems of their own adjusting to a new crowd even though it might seem they are not. Perhaps one or two stronger personalities are dominating and the others following because if they don't they be "uncool". If you want to give them a second chance then tackle them about the issue and take it from there. If they don't stop, move on. Some may respond better than other - hopefully shame-faced. Also, don't like the sound of the boyfriend who almost hit you .. what's that about??
A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (28 November 2006):
 Hey there,
I have guy friends, too, but they have never called me any of those things. Who cares if they're joking or not? What they're doing is hurtful, disgusting and being degrading to women in general.
Are you sure that you really want to be "friends" with these people? I mean, if I were in your position, I wouldn't even have a chat with them about any of this to tell them to stop, I would just drop them. I would find someone who I could talk to that wouldn't call me "whore" and "slut." It really shows what kind of individuals these people are and it doesn't sound like anyone that you should be around.
Take care.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2006):
They are treating you like one of the guys and riding you. Its not necessarily bad, its just that you are unused to it. Trust me a guy who dates a lot gets STD jokes too.
If you really cant take it, then take a couple of the main guys on the side and remind them you are a girl and even saying these things jokingly is hurting you. They'll go back to regular interaction pretty quickly.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (28 November 2006):
 It is TOTALLY unacceptable for you to be called a whore and a slut. And by your friends?!? Are you sure they are your friends? Friends don't call another friend those things. They are hurtful and demeaning.
Here's what you need to do: stand up for yourself. Tell them VERY CLEARLY that what they are saying is hurtful, and untrue. Tell them that they need to STOP RIGHT NOW. It is not acceptable. It is not cool. It's not manly. It's not funny. It's immature, pathetic, unnattractive and makes them seem like stupid little boys. Tell them to grow up.
Kick them in the balls (metaphorically). Don't accept it. Not one moment longer. If you make it crystal clear to them that you're not going to accept it then they'll stop.
One other thing you need to know. The reason they are doing this is because they fancy you. Kind of. They are hoping that by calling you a whore and a slut you'll turn out to be one, and that they'll 'get some action' from you. After all, if you really were a slut then you'd be happy to fuck all of them even with a boyfriend. They're thinking with their cocks. They tease you about threesomes because they hope they'll make you feel low enough that you'll actually want one. With them. It's screwed up and sick but there you go. Sex starved teenage boys can really suck bigtime when it comes to knowing how to treat girls with respect.
Sorry but this makes me angry! Immature boys trying to get into a girls pants by making her feel bad happens a lot, and its a terrible thing.
If they don't sharpen up quick, then dump them all. Do it and don't look back. They'll learn that they don't get to treat women like that. They are not worth being friends with if they don't treat you with respect. Watch out for those 'conservative boys', those are the ones that tend to have the biggest hangups under their supposedly respectable surface. And while you are at it, warn all the other girls you know on campus about them before they find another unfortunate victim to terrorise into submission.
Grrrr I'm still angry! Girl, hanging out with these guys is bad news. You're going to end up in big trouble if they don't dramatically improve or if you don't get out. If they don't shape up straight away, then get away from them and stay away. They'll do you no good and possibly a great deal of harm.
Best of luck to you
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