A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been invited to a house party on New Year's Eve, and i'm not sure whether to go or not. I recently met this guy. We have met up in public three times so far ( including the night we first met each other ). And now he wants me to go to the party. His room mates and all their friends will be there too. Or do you think it's too soon for me to go, and could it be dangerous ?.
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female
reader, feralfox  +, writes (26 December 2011):
I am in college, so I go to parties often with guys that I am interested in. It gives me a chance to see who his friends are and how he spends some of his free time. It will become obvious pretty fast if he is a bad guy. However, I am always careful. I always bring another girl with me, and make sure that I have a way to get home. I never accept drinks unless I've seen it poured into the glass, and even then I might be hesitant. Also, don't drink too much if at all! This guy might be nice, but maybe his friends aren't. If you are interested in this guy you should go, but be very careful and keep your eyes peeled. Better safe than sorry.
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (25 December 2011):
 Having read other responses and your giving us more info as well, my strong recommendation is DON'T GO.
Think about it: HE doesn't take drugs - so he says - BUT his room mates and friends do, and he does drink. Plus he made a sexual comment on your second date with him. Could hardly wait, could he? To compliment you on your appearance is one thing, but a sexual comment is completely uncalled for and shows what he's mainly interested in.......
I know you said he makes sure you get a taxi home - that is what any man with a modicum of decency would do - BUT if you go to his house on New Year's Eve - or any other time - where he and his friends are drugging and drinking, and you can't get out of there without calling a cab - NO, do not go, and in fact, write him out of your life completely. This man - no matter how "nice" he appears to be (and we can all be nice as pie to get what we want) is bad news.
You can do better!
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A
female
reader, Crazykatee +, writes (24 December 2011):
Id go, but im a gate crasher lmao i always go parties n stuff at strangers houses, i always go home before 11, i will always text my parents or my mates at half 10 that way they no where i am and what im doin, so i no if anyfin happens and i dnt contact them my parents will have police at the door afta me within 10mins, im a adult but its better to be safe than sorry!! Take a few friends, invite 2 girls and 2 blokes, then tell him ur takin a few people along, if hes of with the idea then u no somets wrong, the sex fing tell him straight nufin is gna appen until ur ready, blokes no not to try with me, id brake there hands if they touched me, i wont be disrespected!!! Good luck hun hope it works out xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2011): Oh, i also wanted to add that he asked me to go to his house once before, and he said i could sleep at his house, and i could sleep in his bed, and he would sleep on the couch, but i don't know if he would really do that, and, since i would be there until at least Midnight on New Year's Eve, i'm wondering if he will want me to stay over.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2011): Thanks for your replies everyone.Well, he told me that his room mates and their friends take drugs. He doesn't, and he doesn't smoke either, but he does drink. His friends drink too.Also, the second time we met up, he made a sexual comment, and i think he was only joking, but it worried me that he said it when we hardly know each other. He has said though that he doesnt want to rush me into having a relationship with him, and he would wait however long it takes. And he said i am the nicest woman he has ever met. He always makes sure that i get into a taxi when we go out too. I'm worried in case he tries to have sex with me too, as we will be in his house, and we will be drinking alcohol . He's a lot taller than me too, so if he did try anything, it would be hard for me to stop him physically. I think i'm also insecure because i have had bad experiences with men before. And, i must admit, my family are overprotective of me too, even though i am an adult .
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 December 2011):
 you've met him 3 times in public...
if you have his full name, date of birth, address and phone number and the location of where this party is... and you are just being a worry-wart then do this:
MEET Him at the party
make sure he knows that you have given the address and names to your family and/or friends and that there is a per-designated check-in time and signal (do not tell him what time or what the signal is) and that you will be happy to MEET him at the party...
then give the family and/or friends all the info... set up a time to call and come up with a signal to let them know that there is a problem vs all is well. set the alarm on your phone to make this call.
this is all about if you are nervous because of how you met him.
IF there is a GUT feeling that this is wrong... and it's overpowering then decline the invitation and continue to meet in public....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2011): You are apprehensive. Always go with your gut feeling. Stay home.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2011): I'm trying to figure out what you're afraid of...Sounds like you either don't trust him or you don't really want to be in a social situation surrounded by strangers. If the latter is what is worrying you, I would say you might be over reacting just a bit. After all, you'd be in a large group of people. I'm sure they aren't all savages.
But if your gut is telling you this guy is potential danger, I have to ask why would you have gone out with him 3 times?
Here's an idea: perhaps you feel like he just wants a "new year's eve date" and you don't know him that well enough yet? Maybe you don't want to be in a position where you "have" to kiss him at midnight? If that's the case and you don't feel like you know him well enough to go through with it, just decline and tell him you're go to do something with your family.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Eyespy17 +, writes (24 December 2011):
Bring a friend or two.
Has he done anything to make you worry or are you just naturally overly cautious?
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (24 December 2011):
If you have any doubt at all - and it sounds as though you do - then the simple answer is "Don't." As in "don't go."
If you do go, how will you get there? Will you have your own car to get home again? Be careful of how much you drink and don't leave your drink unattended if you go to the bathroom at any time.
You have only met this man three times, and while he and his friends may be perfectly fine, on the up-and-up, you hardly know him. It's not worth taking any chances.
I'm sure he would TELL you it's perfectly alright - but how do you know whether he's trustworthy? I'm not saying he isn't, but remember you don't know him and trust is something that has to be earned, not assumed.
If you have already accepted his invitation and choose not to go, you could tell him something has come up, and you're very sorry, but look forward to seeing him (again in a public place) another time. See how he responds (hopefully with understanding - snd if so, that would be a good sign).
Keep in mind it's important to pay attention to your gut feeling in this matter. If you are uneasy about going, then don't.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2011): Hi. No, we met each other in person.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2011): Are you apprehensive because you met him online?
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