A
female
age
30-35,
*addest_chikk
writes:i was molested by my step father from te ages of 9 to 15. i have mixed feelings torward this situation. i was adopted and hes basically married to my adopted mother(mom). ive never tld anyone and i feel like its to late to. im now 17. the one thing tht bothers me is i feel like im to blame, maybe thts why i dont hate him and i let it go on for so long. it was always oral sex and he use to give me stuff everytime i did it for him. im mad at everyone but him and why is tht. im mad at my mom because she should of known she almost cought us a hundred times, im mad tht we dont have a close enough relationship tht i would trust her enough to tell her something like this. but nost of all im mad at myself for never saying no. how is it possible tht i could dit across the dinner table next to the man who took my childhood away and not be angry or upset, i can have a convo with him and laugh with him and not be bothered. whats wrong wiht me?
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female
reader, baddest_chikk +, writes (21 August 2010):
baddest_chikk is verified as being by the original poster of the question thankk you everyone.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2010): I agree with both of the previous posters.
Without doubt, this is NOT your fault.
And regardless of whether the police get involved, you decide to tell your mother, or any of the other issues, you really, really need to get into some counseling as soon as possible and above all else. I say this because even if, let's say, the police are informed, he's arrested, or any legal action is taken, YOU will still suffer the repercussions for the rest of your life if you don't sort through the emotions, including understanding why you're not mad at him.
All of your emotions are normal and counseling will help you. I know I'm just an anonymous poster on a silly board on the internet, but I've been through the same thing. Counseling is the only thing that will help you in the long run.
I wish you nothing but the best.
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A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (20 August 2010):
 Years of trauma like this will cause such reactions. I don't know what the statue of limitations is on something like this in your country, but at a minimum I would strongly suggest seeing a therapist. Talking through this will likely help you come to grips with what you're feeling
What he did to you was wrong. It is natural and healthy to feel what you do. Please don't blame yourself. When something like this happens when you are a small child. Even if it continues, you can be locked into the mindset you had when it first happened. When he was abusing you, you were still that 9 year old girl.
Please get out of there as soon as you can. If you don't feel like you can tell your mom, then tell a councelor or the police. Just so you know, in the USA, if a councelor is told of abuse, or even suspects it, they have to report it to the police. I don't know what the rules are where you are, but it is something you should look into in case the police route isn't the direction you want to go.
Good luck. This was not your fault. Please believe that. What he did was wrong and reprehensible.
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A
female
reader, cocoqueen88 +, writes (20 August 2010):
 It's never too late to tell someone!! Call the police if your mother doesn't respond to you. This man needs to be put in jail so he can know how it feels to be forced to give somebody oral sex.
None of this is your fault. He is a grown man taking advantage of a child and it's sick.
There is nothing wrong with you. This is something really terrible that happened to you for years and it's only natural to get numb to it after a while.
After you go to the attorities... get some help for yourself. The numbness you feel could hinder you from ever getting into a meaningful relationship in the future. You have to talk to someone about this today!!
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