| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: How should I procede with this relationship?I've been friends with this guy since my Senior year of high school. I am now 25. We have kept in really good touch over the years, but have lived across the country from each other since college started. Basically, I've been in 4 serious relationships since the beginning of college, but have never seemed to get over my confusing feelings for this other guy. After I got my heart broken from my first serious boyfriend, this friend of mine made a move right away. We hooked up for about a month secretly when we were in the same city, and then mutually decided that a long-distance relationship was not going to work, so we put an end to that. I had 2 other serious relationships after that. One guy I had dated for 2.5 years, and he proposed to me. I just wasn't ready to get married, and felt that we weren't connected emotionally on the level that I feel is necessary for marriage. We continued dating though, hoping I would get to the point that I was ready. I went home for Christmas vacation, and my long-term friend was there. He called me as soon as we got into town and picked me up to meet up with our group of friends. Later that night, he was dropping me off, he came inside, and we started making out. I had never cheated on anyone before and everything had happened so fast. I told him that I needed to stop to be fair to my boyfriend. When I retured to see my boyfriend, I told him everything that had happened with my friend. He was furious, and said that he had always known something was up with my friend, could not trust me anymore, and that we should no longer be dating. I completely understood and agreed with him. I wouldn't have cheated on him unless I was emotionally disconnected from him. Anyway, I am currently dating someone that I have now been with for 6 months. However, I can't ever get that friend out of my mind romantically. We have never told our group of friends what happened. He is one of my best friends, and I would never want to ruin the relationship. Occasionally he'll send me emails with ambiguous statements about how he regrets never living in the same city as me, and that he is confused about our relationship. Do you think we have a potential future together if we ever lived nearby, or do you think I should forget about him altogether romantically? Thanks!
View related questions:
best friend, christmas Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, pops +, writes (4 September 2005):
Of course there is a chance for a relationship, but this is something you should be talking to him about. What are his plans after college? Can you realistically expect to be living near each other. If he is not interested, you have your answer. Give your current relationships a break. You were attracted to the new guy for some reasons. Are these the kinds of thing that will lead to a caring, sharing, long term commitment? If not, then don't take the current dating situation more seriously than just an occasional scratch of an itch. Call your friend.
A
female
reader, Delila +, writes (4 September 2005):
Sometimes love can be so confusing. I would say that it sounds like if you two lived near each other there would certainly be a future together. How much do we risk for love? Do you feel so strongly for him you can see yoursef relocating? Can you really logically think this guy out of your system? If I said forget him, could you really? At this stage I would give him a permanent little place your heart, and then carry on dating other guys anyway. You never know what the future will bring.
...............................
|
