A
female
age
30-35,
*nvisiblegirl
writes:I'm 18 years old and I've never had a boyfriend. Never even been asked out. Not that I don't get attention from guys. It's just that I only seem to get the wrong sort of attention, like guys in clubs who are just looking for a one night stand and don't care who it's with.It seems it's a combination of my lack of confidence (i don't really understand flirting or what i should say to a guy if i like him) and also the fact that very few people i know are straight men.I really don't know how to move on from this. It seems that being constantly single makes me feel unwanted which in turn destroys my confidence which means that i stay single. I'm sick of hearing "wait. it'll happen someday" and patronizing things like that.
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confidence, flirt, move on, never had a boyfriend, one night stand Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): Okay,
If you want to find someone to day, first of all get out there and try new activities! Ive never met a boyfriend in a club, not once! I know some people have, but so often the people you meet there, are as you say, only looking for one thing!
Try doing something active, like karate, judo, cycling, running club, rock climbing, kayaking, or anything else that you are interested in.
Start by focusing on getting better at the thing you want to do, and making friends with people, girls and guys who are there! The more friends you have, the more confidence you will have and the happeier you will be, and Im sure you will meet someone!
Try to remember that you are only 18, thats not that old! I felt like I was really really old when I had my first boyfriend, and I was 15, but then I realised that tons of people dont mature enough to really want and appreciate a relationship until they are in their late teens or early twneties! :)
I hope this helps, the less you focus on wanting a boyfriend, the less you come across as some needy stalker (not that im saying you do, I just know some girls who do!) and the more you seem like a fun and itneresting person and then you will find someone! :)
Message me if you want to chat!
A
male
reader, Uncle Chaos +, writes (13 May 2009):
 Invisiblegirl,
The phrase “it’ll happen one day” is one that I have had said to me more times than I wish to remember – it’s a blanket statement.
It sounds patronising and I’m really not a fan of it...
Unfortunately it’s usually right.
Trust me...when you find the right person, all of the waiting becomes worth it. It’s not unusual for people to be in their late teens to early twenties before they have their first relationship, I didn’t go on my first date until I was Nineteen, and now I think about it, a lot of the people I grew up with and consider some of my closest friends (Male and Female) didn’t either.
Don’t worry about not understanding flirting. It took two carer changes, a move of 300 miles and a friend pointing it out it was happening before I began to understand the basics.
I’m still bloody clueless, as are a lot of people, so don’t worry about it.
Most blokes don’t ask out the girls their attracted to out of a fear of rejection, I can safely say that I’m the same.
And as for the blokes at clubs who just want a one night stand- Ignore them, they’re not even worth the hassle of sarcastic comebacks.
If you want to meet new guys, try joining a group or club for something that interests you, it’s a sure fire way of meeting new people.
Being single is not something to worry about, and although it’s infuriating, it’s not the end of the world.
Sorry about the reply being a bit long winded -
Good Luck
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