A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay so my question is this...I am 19, and two weeks ago I have met this guy... He is so amazing. In his personality... I cannot even describe all of his wonderful characteristics...He truly is amazing. Truly. He is talented in music, has nice future goals planned out for himself, he has so much personality that it has made me fall for him... Now here come's the horrible part...I'm like a 9 out of 10 on the good looks scale and he is not too physically attractive... I don't know what to do about this...it has me torn in my heart! I know that I sound like a horrible person but I need advice so much... I want to stay with him as his girlfriend. We really adore eachother, we get along so well, share the same interests, have so much fun together... But it is very very hard for me to stay attracted to him when I know that I could get a much much cuter guy than him... I have a very free spirit and i'm a very playful/flirty person... but I do not want to loose this amazing person... But I *can* let him go, if it would be for the best... What should I do? How in the world do I keep my mind from wondering? :( Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2009): I have just posted a very similar question. My boyfriend has the BEST personality ever, and i feel awful that i care what other people think. But i do! But all my past boyfriends have been extremely good looking and none of those relationships turned out well because none of them had a brain behind their beautiful faces. My current boyfriend has this idea that hes going out with a princess an he worships me, and its fair to say he isnt the greatest looking guy in the world, but he is intelligent, funny, loving, generous and those things are so much more important in the long term.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2008): Let him know that. Be completely honest with him and yourself. Because 9x's out of 10, God is not going to have you with someone that is missing one of the characteristics that you want in a man. I understand that you "adore" him, but if you really adored him his outside appearance would not matter. Like him for his inner being as a "Friend", that is what really counts. Don't pretend the rest of the way because you will end up breaking his heart. Don't waste time by trying to be nice, be honest.
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male
reader, ask sweeney :)  +, writes (17 August 2008):
 forget looks its whats on the inside that counts, remember good looks dont make a relationship work, but personality and the way someone is does go towards making things work, write back to me and let me know how things go for you, and let me know if things
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female
reader, Milana +, writes (17 August 2008):
Imperfections are what some people really find attractive in their significant other. If he believes you are a '9 out of 10' then he must be walking tall when he goes out with you and believes there is something special about himself. I would have been more worried wondering was he going out with me just because of the way I look. People change and men generally become more attractive as they mature. It's better to see him chubby now and like him rather than him be skinny and hot now and then get chubby and unattractive to you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2008): You don't think maybe your being a tad shallow? if you have fun with him and adore him that much whats the difference what he looks like besides when you hook up your eyes will be closed anyway.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2008): He could always go on a diet and get his teeth fixed, if that's all that's botheriong you.
really and honestly, it's what lies under the surface that's the important bit, and I'm pleased to see that you've come to realise that.
Good men (and women) are scarce - so make the best of him, he's probably got a lot more to offer than the Richard Gere lookalikes!
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you, all of you, for your honesty!!!! You all have great answers, and they have helped me very, very, much... I am very self concious about what other people think of me, to the point of where it effects my life and alot of decisions that I make in it... I feel really bad for even posting this question now! But...you all have certainly helped me... Im going to get over myself and stay with him...I really do adore him..... He's just a bit chubby and has messed up teeth but it's not a big deal at all when you think about it... ugh... I feel really horrible now! I'm sorry you guys, and thanks again for answering my question honestly... :)
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female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (13 August 2008):
 Oh yeah I forgot..... Do you really want to date someone who fights you over mirror space? Ever heard of the song sung by Carly Simon? "You're so vain"
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2008): hey honestly u have a good guy and u should hold on and if u let looks take a toll on u and u let him go someone else will get him and surely have a great future with him looks arent all u eva heard all that glitters is not gold plus ur rating urself and most likely u rated him in ur 1 -10 things realise what u have
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reader, Spiffeh.. +, writes (12 August 2008):
 Well I also had doubts about my relationship as my boyfriend was really not my type with the nerdy way he looked but once you spend enough time with a person you begin to love them for who they are and accept them flaws and all. Its much better to look at their good features such as my boyfriends got the most amazing eyes and lips.
if you cant accept him the way he is dont try to change him just leave him alone =] x
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reader, ask sweeney :) +, writes (12 August 2008):
good looks dnt make a good relationship ... but personality does
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2008): I actually think the most likely scenario is that he'll be the one letting you go just as soon as he realises what sort of girl you are. In ten years time you might make a 5/10 if you're lucky but that depends on who's doing the scoring - you or someone else!
There's a saying that goes something like 'No matter how good she looks, there's always some other guy that's had enough of putting up with her crap'
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reader, duskyrowe +, writes (12 August 2008):
This guy sounds like MY IDEAL MAN.... There are too many beautiful people who's looks are around 9, but there personality is a big fat zero. Actually my dear I am describing you. So what if he is no Brad Pitt, if you don't want him... I am sure there are plenty of other young ladies, who will be too glad to take him off your hands.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2008): If u weren't attracted to this great guy from the begining, chances are ur not gunna be attracted to him ever.
Is it his face, body, style, acne? What is it that u consider not so good lookin? Maybe try helping the guy. If u been told he's not so cute, then ur the type who cares what people think.
So leave him before he becomes another victim of ur shallowness.
U have got to get over ur self, being a 9 doesn't mean u have the whole 9 yards ( brains, money, health, a life perhaps). Its one aspect that u do have, what else do u have to offer besides ur looks?
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reader, RitzaD. +, writes (12 August 2008):
 Can I say "shallow?" ok so ur a 9 from 1-10 scale. So what, it doesn't matter. Ur saying how wonderful this guy is why should looks even bother u. He sounds like a truely amazing guy, he has everything going for himself, how bad can it be? Are u emabarrased to be seen with him? how would u like it if this guy was the one rejecting u, yea ur a 9, but ur personality is a 3. Ouch!Being shallow is a disease, and many people give up on something good just because they didn't look like the super model.Staying attracted to a person isn't always about the looks, of course its about how they present themselves on both ur ends, male and female. In a relationship both must always keep the fire from fading, so u try ur best to impress one another. Complementing each other as well to let them know ur still into them. It doesn't matter if ur a 9 or a 2, if u don't have the personality, a mind set, and a great attitude, then u have nothing.And finding someone cuter doesn't guarantee happiness. "Beauty comes within."Now if u think looks matter so much, then leave this great guy alone before u cause 2 major problems, heartbreak, and blowing up his self esteem!Maybe someone else will appreciate him.Good luck,Hope this helps ur relationship.
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reader, shamrocks  +, writes (12 August 2008):
you obviously are one of those girls who think what other people will say. most "pretty" boys got the looks but do they have the brains to set out goals for themselves?? Your guy sounds incredible!!!! Don't judge him by the way that he looks.
if you still need more convincing try watching the movie "Shallow Hal" with Jack Black and Gwyneth Paltrow,i'm sure you'll know exactly what to do.
I hope things work out for you xxxxx!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2008): If your not sexually attracted to him then that will cause problems. You should have really kept him as a mate in the first place. Maybe you can go clothes shopping together? or go to the gym together? Daniel Craig for example isn't the best looking guy but he has a great body and very sexy.
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