A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:PLEASE don't judge me... I know i shouldn't have.. but i dated a guy over the internet. I'm 15 and he's 17.. at first i didn't take it seriosuly at all.. like i figured okay me and him will have fun whenever we are on the computer otherwise no. Then we started talking through telephone... and now things have gotten as seriosu as they can for 2 people who have never metHe lives in England, like alot of the people ont his site do so thats why i was hoping for help... he says his phone number has an area code not in england (stillwater MN i did reasearch) and says that thats becasue he connected the number to our phones...? what is that? can you even do that? I'm freaked out. He says he has never lied to me but he does! I just never call him out on it because i figure eventually i can when the time is right.Is there anyway at all I can do a backround check on him? i know that sounds super paranoid.. but i don't belive he lives in england.. dispite the accent.please don't judge me... i really didn't mean for it to get this far. I do know i have to end it, I'm not living in some fantasy.
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (9 July 2006):
 If you think he has lied then run with your gut instinct. Forget the accent - he could be a Brit abroad...we do travel! If he lies about his location, what else does he lie about? It is the perils of internet dating again - you never know who you are dealing with. I work professionally with children and teens who have got into awful situations because of meeting people on the internet. I won't go into the gory details but nevertheless you should exert some caution here. I live in London and when my husband was abroad I used to call him using one of those discount rate numbers. On his phone, calls used to show up as 0845... and 09... (which are UK business numbers) reflecting the fact that my call had been routed through their system. If you want confirmation about this man's whereabouts and you are a little technology-savvy then there is a good way to work out the location. If he sends you emails (or you get him to send you email), the email contains code in the email header and an IP address...there are programs on the internet (do a google search) that will allow you to trace his email using such information. Some programs give out full details (name, address etc) and others just supply the name of the server who provides his internet access (...but if it is an internet server based in a country other than the UK then you have your answer). You need to be terribly careful about talking to people on the net - it is a great medium for deception. If you do find out that he is a 52 year old pervert, please report him to your local police authorities as it may deter him from preying on other young ladies in the future.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2006): This guy is a liar and a fraud if he lives in england he will have an english phone number and from the USA you would need to dial 011 44 as the start of the number to call him. He clearly doesn't live in the UK because **no-one** in the UK has an American number. Please be very careful.
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A
female
reader, Angelicc +, writes (8 July 2006):
 You sound super paranoid i live in london- england and apart from the international which 44, I live in the 0208 area code area the other half of london is 0207. Theres so many different area codes in england.
The fact that you would want to ruin a background check on him shows you have little trust in him at all. Maybe your not cut out for these type of relationship. Stick to the boys you know.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2006): Ordinarily I would have said the age gap doesn't really matter, it's only two years. However, (no offense intended) you do sound quite young. First, why would people judge you for getting to know a guy on the Internet?
How do you mean you didn't mean for things to "get this far", and why do you have to end it? Do you feel like you are too young to be dating?
I don't really know why you think this is so bad?
I don't understand the phone number area code thing. I live in the UK, and I'm telling you, unless he can give you a number that you can dial using our country code (44) then he does not live in England. He should almost certainly have a land line, that starts in 01 or 02 or a mobile number that starts in 07.
But, with VOIP (Voice over IP) he could quite easily get a UK phone number, but be based in the US using SkypeOut.
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A
female
reader, Natalie-x +, writes (8 July 2006):
 I'm not judging you at all. I know what it's like to be creeped out by someone over the internet. What you should have remembered was NOT to give out you're telephone number or personal details, to someone you've never met. And are you sure he's 17?
Remember, never agree to meet this man. Especially when you're unsure of him. And if you were to meet him, go with someone you can trust.
Being so young, it may be a good idea to inform your parents of this, and maybe they can help you get some information on the area where he DOES live.
Don't try to get through this, and sort it out alone. There will be people who can and want to help you. If it helps, contact child line or another help line, if you'd rather keep it confidential. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2006): firstly - Be careful, very careful when dealing with anyone on the internet. This 17 year old could in fact be a 49 year old posing as a teenager in order to get you to let down your guard, even if youve seen him on webcam, it could be a pre recorded image, spoken on the telephone, you can buy equipment to give you a totally different accent, i have a box that can make me sound like the fella from scream, or a woman, or a small child at the flick of a button!
Check out this guys profile from the email providor he uses, its possible that all the info you have on him will be contradicted in there. Speak to other online friends who also chat to this guy and see if any stories actually match up or not.
And finally if you dont believe he tells you the truth, lies about where he is living etc, then stop contacting him full stop. delete him from your contact lists and stop responding to emails.
If he has your telephone number and you have his, then call your telecomms operator and have his number banned from calling you.
But get rid before you get into trouble
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2006): Whereabouts in England does he say he comes from? Ask him about it and stuff and I'm sure people on here can tell you if what he says makes sense!?
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