A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This is going to sound like a strange one.About 2 weeks ago I walked in on my husband and his best friend watching one of our home made videos and performing sexual acts on each other.My first reaction was to act angrily, but really I wasn't at all angry, infact I was incredibly turned on by it. The very idea that they were watching me and getting so turned on as too give each other blow jobs, is so exciting to me. I secretly knew my husband had been showing his friends our videos, but never dreamt they were getting each other off over them.The problem is, I reacted how I thought I should have as I was in shock, but really I'm not at all angry and want my husband to know. I just don't know how to explain to my husband as I know he is feeling so guilty and hasn't seen his friend since.I want to take away my husbands guilt and let him know it's ok, but I feel like I overplayed it in the first hand and it will seem like I was just being cruel by not letting him know sooner. I've tried letting him know I'm not upset but he thinks that even raising the subject turns my stomach because I go quiet, when really I just get so turned on it's hard for me to talk.How can I let him know without seeming like a total bitch for my reaction.Thankyou.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2021): I hate to say this, but what makes you think that your husband and his friend were turned on by watching YOU. Your husband is obviously bisexual and perhaps his friend was turned on by watching your husband in the video and so they gave each other blow jobs. Did you know your husband has gay tendencies? Do you mind? Do you care that he was pleasuring himself with someone else and you would never have known about it, if you hadn't walked in? He has a secret side to his sex life that until now you were unaware of. If all that is at the forefront of your mind is that it turned you on, maybe your marriage is something I just don't understand. Try to tell him that he has no need to feel guilty, if that's how you feel, maybe show him your post to us. But I would also be including in that discussion, his sexual leanings. The fact that he is bisexual and dishonest doesn't seem to figure in your thinking.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (9 April 2021):
 Do you have an open marriage? It doesn't sound like you do, so I will assume not. In that case, your husband cheated on you. Whether he was watching you or some random unknown people in a porn movie is irrelevant; the footage was just w4nk fodder for him and his best mate.
If you are really ok with this, then what is the problem with telling him? If he was having sex with his mate though, don't be surprised if this all goes badly wrong.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2021): "I just get so turned on it's hard for me to talk."
I'll just address this part.
An old girlfriend somehow watched two guys performed. She liked reliving it while we were having sex. It made her climax like crazy. At first I was turned off by it all but after awhile lightened up to it. It made for excellent sex between us and it wasn't as good without it.
Is that you, Linda? LOL
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2021): Very simple really. Tell him if he doesn't mind you want to join in next time.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (8 April 2021):
 Your first reaction was to act angrily, well of course it was as this would be the reaction of 99% of the population as well.
I thank that most people would have packed his bags for him and told him to leave.
He has shared something very intimate with someone else, another guy, and performed oral sex while doing so. This is degrading and disrespectful to you, whilst being unfaithful.
Who else has he shared these videos with?. If someone asked him if they could have a copy i would not mind betting he would oblige.
This is what happens when you make home made videos, that are just supposed to be personal to the individuals that made it. They can be seen by a third party, like in your case, copy's made of them, then before you know it posted online.
I fail to see what your happy with here, the fact that your husband is now gay, or bi?. or having your personal video oggled by a third party.
Would yo have felt the same way if his best friend was a woman and you walked in on them performing oral sex and watching video. I really don't think so.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (8 April 2021):
 I don't get why you aren't actually pissed at your husband here.
He hasn't seen his buddy in a while and then decides sharing some homemade porn is a good way to spend time with a friend? That is gross if you ask me. A GROWN-ass man in his 40+s sit and want himself and his wife's sex tape with a friend sounds like REALLY REALLY bad porn.
And let's not forget that your husband was performing sex acts on his buddy and vice versa so... basically CHEATING on you?
And you think YOU should apologize because it turned you on?
Now if you two have some open marriage where anything goes then why can't you just tell your husband that you aren't mad and enjoyed the thought of it?
I swear people these days make no sense when it comes to sex! No wonder the statistics on cheating and STDs are rampant!
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