A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I made a short little list of things that i want to ask this guy that ive been sorta going out with for maybe almost a month now but we only meet on weekends because he is busy (home improvement) which im first hand witness of by the way. it started as a casual thing but deep down i am a hopeless romantic and a little bit of a martyr so i got the picture of him and pretty much from the picture i could tell it was exactly what ive always been looking for (which it ended up to be) but when i asked what he was looking for he said whatever, and to me since i over think and over analyze everything i sorta interpreted that as that there could be some slim chance in that he might want a LTR. am i just imagining things do you think? also weve done other things like go to the movies or go to dinner.. but i feel like in public he acts alot different towards me.. ok so now that you know a little about the scenario, these are the questions that are sort of on what i consider to be my DONT ask these questions list.-do you like to hold my hand? that one because when i look at it from the other end it might seem a little clingy or something-do you prefer to shower alone? it kind of seems like a big deal to me but he doesnt invite me in.. and i just dont have the nerve to go in i guess-do you enjoy the time we spend together outside of sex? just seems like from the other end is a bit clingy, i dunno?so what do you think.. am i a frickin mess or what? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys... I guess in the back of my mind I pretty much figured it's best to just let it play out.. Just needed some guidance or reasurrance.. Much appreciated.. I think the reason that I may seem like I want to rush it is because he's leaving across seas soon and I was hoping to keep seeing him
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (29 October 2010):
 No please don't ask anything.
I must say that from a simple "whatever " you seem to be getting out quite a lot of mileage, but - hey, dreaming romance is not against the law.
Also being needy and insecure is not against the law... but it may sort out the opposite effect than desired. Come on- it started casual. He is looking for "whatever". You met him a month ago, and you see him only on weekends- which means you have spent with him so far a barely relevant bunch of hours. It is really too early to unload on him a battery of hows and whys , it's better to wait and see what happens...in fact, to OBSERVE accurately what happens.
Like : does he like to hold your hand. If he does initiate physical contact at least half of the times, yes he does. If you are the one who is always reaching first for his hand, or arm, or waist etc.... no , he does not.
Does he prefer to shower alone ? Some people do, but if joining him in the shower is something that you crave for yourself, just do it- if he likes that, he'll let you know, and if he dislikes it, he 'll let you know that too.
Do you enjoy the time outside sex ?... Easy to see. If he DOES want to spent quite some time with you also out of bed, yes he does. If he tends to spend most of his time with you in bed, and tends to reduce to a minimum your " social " time together, then no he does not.
Use your eyes and your brain and see what is going on, and you'll have all the answers you need, because actions speak louder than words.
Firing off a lot of questions , at such an early stage, is off- putting, generates anxiety and pressure, and is useless, - because , after all, people can lie. Watch what they DO, not what they say .
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (29 October 2010):
 Somehow I don't think he's going to give you the insightful answers you seek... may just get more "whatever"s..
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